The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective

Why I hate the Wizard of Oz movie

So cluegirl answered the "who is the worst movie bully" Writer's Block with Glenda, Good Witch of the North.", then launches into details. My reply is reposted below:
Glinda's problem in the movie is she's actually two entirely different characters, and the whole movie suffers from a severe case of "Hurr durr, let's rewrite a story we apparently have never read." I read the book, and at first Dorothy runs into an unnamed white witch (of the north) who genuinely doesn't know what the hell is going on, and has limited powers. All she can do is send Dorothy to the wiser good witch of the south (the real Glinda). But before Dorothy can get there, she runs into the Wizard; shitstorm ensues, which is somewhat like the movie version but a lot not.1 When that's over, she continues on south and meets Glinda, who's all like (not a quote) *Eyeroll* "Stupid witch of the north, doesn't know fucking anything. If she were even half as smart as me, she'd have seen instantly that you had the way home the whole time."

I hate the wizard of Oz movie anyway. Dorothy is 6 in the book, and the movie makes no fucking sense because the screenplay was apparently written by mentally retarded chimpanzees that only speak German, and does that "it was all a dream" shit at the end. In the book, Oz is a real place, with none of that "autistic boy's coma dream" crap.

"The Wizard of Oz" is long overdue for a more faithful remake. To say the book is better than the movie is like saying a healthy diet full of fruits and vegetables is better for you than a gunshot between the eyes.

1 = Field of poppies were not made by the witch of the west. As I recall, the witch of the West wasn't even aware of Dorothy until Dorothy and her friends were heading for her castle. The Witch of the West wasn't even really a witch; her only power was she'd lucked into a magic hat that allowed her to force the flying monkeys (which were natural Oz animals and normally quite gentle) to do her bidding in the form of three wishes, two of which she'd already used to gain power. Dorothy gets a hold of the hat when the witch of the west dies during the escape attempt, and uses the monkeys to help her get to the witch of the south, and then set them free with her third wish. (Or destroyed the hat, I don't recall exactly.) There are also about a dozen entire scenes in the book, like the land of living porcellain figures, that never made it to the movie.
Another comment just occurred to me, that I went back and added:
PS = Also, they added a bunch of stuff in the Kansas part of the movie. In the book, the Kansas part at the beginning is little more than=

Dorothy: "Damn, Kansas sure is boring. Hey, is that a tornado?"

And later=

"Aunty Em! I'm home!"

Crossposted from
Tags: books, funny, movies, rants, wizard of oz
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