The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective

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Funny Harry Potter poem

A poem I wrote in response to someone asking who all the Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers in the Harry Potter series were, and how they left.

Ohh... Quirrell was two-faced and master of trolling,
But Harry found out how that toerag was rolling
In self defense, burnt that dude to a crisp,
his face turning red just like lobster bisque.

Then Gilderoy Lockhart, of whom Molly1 was fond,
got his mind wiped by a malfunctioning wand.
Now he lives at St. Mungo's, still a bit dim,
But his fans still send many letters to him.

Next there was Lupin, who wasn't half bad,
except at full moon when he went howling mad.
He'd have done well in Hogwarts, for he was a peach,
but he resigned after slipping his leash.

Alastair Moody taught the class with a thunk,
Or so we thought till we looked in his trunk.
Fudge was upset when he found things amiss,
So gave the impostor one final kiss.

Mister Fudge took Umbridge with Dumbledore
For telling him Voldy had come back for more.
Dolores was racist, and called Bane a beast,
So they chased her away before end of year feast.

After years of wanting to teach the DADA,
Severus Snape got his chance, HA HA HA!
Things got surreal when he killed Dumbledore,
And ran off to rejoin Lord Voldemort.

And that's about it, since Lord Voldy's crew
Didn't teach *defense* against You-Know-Who.
I hope you enjoyed this queer little poem.
Now that it's over, I'm going home.

~ ~ ~

It didn't say we had to tell how they died, just how they left the position.

1 = Molly Weasley

Crossposted from
Tags: creativity, fandom, funny, poem, poems, things i've written
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