The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective
fayanora

The only true blasphemy is compromising your spirit at the request of another.

A friend was talking about a friend of his who gave up her writing when she married, something which had been very important to her. He was worried about the possibility of him doing the same thing if he ever got married, and asked me my thoughts. The following is my response, with some additions:

Well, I have always come first. I like helping others, I like making others feel good. I can be very oriented on another person. I am caring and compassionate, as well. But the moment they ask me to compromise who I am, that's it. I put my foot down. I don't care how much I like someone, it doesn't matter how much I love them or how long I've been with them. I will forgive them making such a request if they promise never to do it again. But if they insist on trying to change me, that's the deal breaker. I have not had to break it off with anyone because of such a thing, yet, but I know that I am the most important thing to me, and while I am willing to make reasonable accommodations such as chores and going places to do things that don't really interest me, I absolutely will not change any of the core components of myself for anyone but myself. Not only won't I, I don't think I could even if I wanted to.

Frankly, I cannot even comprehend why anyone would even consider changing themselves for someone else. The notion is absolutely alien to me. It'd be like asking me to cut off an arm or a finger for that person, just because they asked me to. Sure, I'd risk bodily harm to defend the life and physical well being of someone I loved. I'd even lay down my life if need be. But to mutilate any part of myself, spirit or body, just because someone else doesn't like that part of me... is anathema to me. The only thing in life I consider a true blasphemy is compromising your spirit to please someone else.

Crossposted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org
Tags: about me, thought of the day
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