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A Lyria storyverse micro-scene, funny.

The following is a micro-scene that came to mind. It is not part of any of the Lyria stories yet. In fact, when I thought up the scene, at first I had no idea who the mage character was. Then I decided I liked Jarnion Zakonjo for the role. Jarnion is one of Lyria's enemies, a man who is only ever a nuisance to Lyria because he's too afraid of her. Intelligent and clever, he's also a bit of an idiot and not as clever as he thinks he is. Alignment: lawful good, Jarnion is a sorcerer who fancies himself to be a good spy. While he is certainly nosy, and good at breaking into places and looking around for clues without leaving much trace behind (unless someone happens to have a magical security system in place), when it comes to getting information out of people in person, he's about as subtle as a train wreck. His being the mage in the story changed it in subtle ways, too. Anyway, enjoy the micro-scene. (One last note: in the "modern era" of the Lyria stories, Jarnion is 186 years old, and looks like he's in his 50's. This takes place a long time before that, in his early 30's.)

~ ~ ~

      Pretending to be just another tired traveler in plain brown traveling cloak, a short and skinny brown-haired young man named Jarnion Zakonjo went into a pub called The Dragon's Balls Pub, complete with a sign depicting a dragon with enormous testicles. Jarnion chuckled at this idiotic sign, for dragons – like lizards and birds – do not have external testes, and went in.
      Jarnion made a very serious attempt to look like he was picking a place at random, a place that just happened to be in earshot – for a mage, anyway – of the two big, burly, and surly-looking men he happened to have been following recently.
      He ordered a pint and pretended to have had a long, hard day that required staring silently into his mug and sipping dolefully every now and then. In truth, he was listening in on the conversation between the big men. He knew them by sight, of course. One had black hair, was missing his left eye, and had replaced it with a glass eye. The other had blond hair and a nasty scar along one cheek. They were also wearing the leather armor of a clan of particularly nasty warriors from the area, which is why he'd decided to follow them. People like that didn't come to Dralakkith for anything good, he was sure.
      At first, Jarnion couldn't understand them, as they were speaking their native language. But being a mage has its advantages, one of those being that he knew Omnitongue. Omnitongue is a useful skill, a magical language with only two words in it. Repeat one of those words over and over again, aloud or in your mind, and you can understand any language at all, if your mind is equipped to understand the thoughts behind the language. Repetition of the other word in Omnitongue will allow anyone at all to understand you in their own native language.
      Having been doing this sort of thing for several decades, the internal chanting of the first Omnitongue word was second nature to him, allowing him to concentrate on what they were saying, which wasn't much of anything important, yet.
      But after the obligatory small talk, while they made the determination of whether it was safe to talk or not, they finally began to talk business. After a little while, Jarnion heard enough to know that he had been right, these two were just part of a larger group that planned to come riding into Dralakkith through the pass, staggered over the course of several weeks, their weapons hidden from the border guards by magic. When the whole clan was over the border, they would all travel across Dralakkith to the western border, assemble at a city there, pillage and burn as much of the city as they could, then escape over the border into Gwalred.
      Unbeknownst to Jarnion, he had forgotten to sip his beer for quite a long time, and was leaning toward the two men. They were halfway through discussing the route they would take to the border when they realized they were being listened to, and stopped talking. The one with the scar on his face slammed his mug down, the metal of the mug clanking against the wooden table. He stood up, a nasty expression on his face. The one-eyed man also stood up, sour-faced, and together they walked over to Jarnion's table and stood menacingly in front of him.
      His heart full of dread, Jarnion looked up from his beer, too scared to talk.
      “You, small weak man, are you listening to our talking?” the one with the scar asked, cracking his knuckles. “Because if so, it would be very, very bad for you.”
      Shaking his head, Jarnion hastily blurted out, “No, of course not. I can't understand a word of your language!”
      The words had already left his mouth before he realized his mistake. His words had been in Omnitongue.

~ ~ ~
EDIT:

Two possible continuations:

1.

      Shaking his head, Jarnion hastily blurted out, “No, of course not. I can't understand a word of your language!”
      The words had already left his mouth before he realized his mistake. His words had been in Omnitongue.
      "...which I just said in your language. OH SHIT, I said that in your language, too! FUCK, I'M STILL DOING IT!" *Runs away*

2.

      Shaking his head, Jarnion hastily blurted out, “No, of course not. I can't understand a word of your language!”
      The words had already left his mouth before he realized his mistake. His words had been in Omnitongue.
      "THAT WAS OMNITONGUE! OMNITONGUE! I said that in Omnitongue! I swear I don't know your language!"
      The scarred man glowered at him. "Our shaman, he knows Omnitongue too. He tells me... he says, it goes both ways. You were listening. We kill you now, small and stupid man."
      A large, bright flash-bang erupted from Jarnion's hand, temporarily blinding the two men as he bolted for the door in a panic and fled into the night, taking a hastily-cast portal home the instant he could.

Crossposted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
erithianopius
Mar. 10th, 2011 09:02 am (UTC)
Just an idea - what about a composite of the two continuations such as;

Shaking his head, Jarnion hastily blurted out, “No, of course not. I can't understand a word of your language!”
The words had already left his mouth before he realized his mistake. His words had been in Omnitongue.
"...which I just said in your language. OH SHIT, I said that in your language, too! FUCK, I'M STILL DOING IT!"
Quickly, he tried to reverse himself, in a more panicky voice yelping "THAT WAS OMNITONGUE! OMNITONGUE! I said that in Omnitongue! I swear I don't know your language!"
The scarred man glowered at him. "Our shaman, he knows Omnitongue too. He tells me... he says, it goes both ways. You were listening. We kill you now, small and stupid man."
A large, bright flash-bang erupted from Jarnion's hand, temporarily blinding the two men as he bolted for the door in a panic and fled into the night, taking a hastily-cast portal home the instant he could.
fayanora
Mar. 10th, 2011 09:25 am (UTC)
LOL! I love it! Can I copy and paste that as is? (I know you only added one half of a sentence, but I still feel it polite to ask.)

Of course, to use it in the actual stories, I'd have to change the dialogue a little, remove the s-word and "fuck." Mainly because they don't feel like they fit in that world, those two words.
erithianopius
Mar. 10th, 2011 04:17 pm (UTC)
Of course you can! The whole point of suggesting that is because I thought it would be good to use. Removing the s and f words is fine but I like the idea of "I'm still doing it!" when he realizes he is using omnitongue, but continues to use it.
fayanora
Mar. 11th, 2011 05:34 am (UTC)
Yeah, me too. :-D
(Deleted comment)
fayanora
Mar. 11th, 2011 03:03 pm (UTC)
:-D
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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