The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective

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Drowning in apple juice

I have drank more apple juice in the last week (from being ill) than I have in the entire YEAR preceding that.

Let me explain: it all started months back, when Brooke convinced me (somehow) to buy about four gallons of apple juice. Something to keep in mind: I don't really like apple juice. How she convinced me to buy four gallons of something I only drink when nothing else is available, I don't know. But it turned out to be a good move. Because when I got sick, it became one of the few things I could drink reliably. Water is okay only in small sips, and hot tea is good, but that left apple juice as the only other thing in the house. I drank it all, in the space of less than a week (well, only 3 gallons, actually; the fourth had been used up earlier). And earlier today I went out and bought two more gallons. I have some kind of madness, I think.

Oh, I also got cranberry juice, grape juice, tonic water (along with a container of raspberry flavoring), and orange juice for variety. I also got a variety of fruit: bananas, fruit salad, strawberries, and apple slices. Oh, and bread.

I filled half a garbage bag full of used tissues, and there's still used tissues every-fucking-where. And this is with me using each one no less than three times. (I developed a sophisticated tissue folding method in my constantly-ill youth that maximizes tissue usage, where I can use a tissue four times before it starts to get soggy, unless of course there is a particularly large wad of snot that comes out. I developed this tissue folding method because there were never enough tissues in my childhood; I wouldn't need replacements as fast if I maximized their potential.)

Seriously, I think I must have produced enough snot in my lifetime to equal my current body mass at least 100 times. If I'd saved all of this week's used tissues, I could make a life-sized statue of myself with them. If they'd made a super-hero after myself as a child, that superhero would be an overweight asthmatic kid whose superpower was blowing enormous wads of snot out of her nose.

Did I mention, I was so constantly stuffed-up as a child that I never learned how to breathe through my nose? I have to concentrate to breathe through my nose. But it balances out: I can not only breathe and chew at the same time, I can breathe, chew, and TALK at the same time.

And now Brooke seems to be ill again. Fuck, what is with 2011 and illness? Before 2011, the worst illness I'd had for about 10 years was a runny nose. Now Brooke and I keep getting knocked down with shit, and we don't even seem to be giving each other any illnesses.

Crossposted from
Tags: my day, sick, tmi
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