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Tolerance for Humanity

The other day, I got a letter from the bank in Atlantic that I had overdrawn. They were charging me $20.00 on top of that for a fine. Which is completely insane! If I could fucking afford the $20 fine, I wouldn't have fucking overdrawn! So then I went to PayPal to try to use the account in Creston to pay for the one in Atlantic (so I can keep making car payments), and I overdrew from THAT ONE. Worst of all, the goddamn fucking cocksucking bank closes at THREE, which is when I get off! It takes between 30 and 45 minutes just to get back to Creston, so I can't cash any of my savings bonds to replenish my depleted funds before they fine me for overdrawing. Unless I go to the bank quickly tomorrow in the morning. Still, it's frustrating.

In my last paycheck, after the expenses for the uniform tops and my badge were taken out, I got paid a grand total of $25. I just barely made more money in tips this week, and a lot of my tip money I use to pay gasoline for the commute. If it weren't for the occasional really busy days (lots of tips) and double shifts, I would barely be breaking even.

I've determined that it is not my hope for humanity that I struggle to have, because where there's life there's hope... it is actually my tolerance for this species that has now completely drained. I feel like Garak on that episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The temperature is never right, the society is frustrating on so many levels, I never feel like I fit in, the people at Dell are a bunch of greedy cheats (I pay and pay and pay and the amount I owe never goes down, plus they sometimes charge me for things I didn't purchase) and it feels like I'm being tortured. I WANT OUT OF THIS SOCIETY!

When I leave this planet, I am never coming back. Two lifetimes here have been enough to scar me for the rest of my afterlife.

Chaotic Blessings;
---Fayanora

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
kali_ya
May. 17th, 2005 05:15 pm (UTC)
You know, I agree wholeheartedly and I feel your pain. I wish there was something better than this...
fayanora
May. 18th, 2005 02:28 pm (UTC)
Hit "read comments" and scroll down, because my comment to you got redirected.
consortofvenus
May. 17th, 2005 08:11 pm (UTC)
I'm with you on that one. Accept I'd be a Vulcan. That and I'd probably look strangely at my fellow Vulcans as well.
fayanora
May. 18th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC)
Vulcans give me the creeps. Anyone without emotion would be scary.
consortofvenus
May. 18th, 2005 03:20 pm (UTC)
Yeah. But they're a confusing bunch. Some of them see logic, so it would seem, in the idea of "morality" or universal values. I don't get it.

But then I've seen a Vulcan participating in criminal activities. Forget which episode. I think it was on DS9.
fayanora
May. 19th, 2005 02:56 pm (UTC)
It was DS9. The one where the Vulcan lady was trying to get weapons for the Maquis. Quark was quite surprised that a Vulcan wanted weapons.
consortofvenus
May. 19th, 2005 03:59 pm (UTC)
Yeah I remember that now. That was pretty funny.
klyf23
May. 17th, 2005 10:46 pm (UTC)
Only 2? Piker.

If you missed the middle ages you have nothing to complain about.
fayanora
May. 18th, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
"Piker"???

Mom says I've lived other lives in the past with her, because she remembers me being there, but I past-life regressed and only came up with one other life on Earth. Of course, given the nature of time on the Other Side, I could always go to be reborn in the past at a later date. Though, since I never want to come back to this hellhole of a planet, I hope she is merely mistaken.
fayanora
May. 18th, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC)
BTW, this still is the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages you're talking about were black as pitch... now it's almost dawn, but who knows when that will be.
fayanora
May. 18th, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC)
There is, and once I die I won't be coming back.

This is old, but it shows how I feel right now. (No offense to any friends of mine, or like-minded/intelligent souls):

�Trai Ah�lah�kohr Trai� (means "Home Sweet Home")
By Tristan Arts

I hate this life; I just want to go Home,
Back to Traipah�why�d I ever roam?
I�m a total misfit here in this bottomless well
Of utter mother-fucking hell!
Why the hell did I choose rebirth
On this psychopathic planet Earth?
My first lifetime here, I was killed by a �friend,�
At the tender age of five or six I met my end
Pushed off a wall just because I was black!
Once I leave, I am NOT coming back!
You�d have to drag me back while I scream and kick
Because I will never again ever pick
This festering pot of Idiot Stew,
Because this planet has very little redeeming value!
Its humans are primitive, barbaric, insane
A whole species of psychopaths with fucked up brain!
They can�t love anyone more than superficially
Obsessed with perfection and artificiality!
No one yet has proven they can love my whole Self,
They don�t accept their own flaws, much less those of anyone else!
Not just personality but the way of body as well,
Telling others how to live their lives or burn in hell!
And hating another because of the color of their skin
Should be the number one most deadly sin!
Genetically those of every race are 99% the same, you see,
If we were all dogs, we�d be the same breed!
But back on Traipah, we had subspecies for truth,
From those who were giants to those resembling youth
And from those of the land to those who only swam in the sea
Or a race that could change themselves rather easily!
We had a long hard time of it, but our fears made more sense
No mere color difference could make us tense!
We finally grew out of our pettiness, you can too!
Right now I want to go Home, away from this zoo.

Check out my novel:
fayanora
May. 18th, 2005 02:27 pm (UTC)
That was supposed to be a reply to Kali_ya.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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