The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective

Medical News: Researchers Link Life, Cancer

Ye Olde Goldyn Appyl Presse Headline:

By Hurzta P. Dok, YOGAP medical correspondent

Sydney, Australia - Researchers in Sydney today revealed studies indicating that the presence of life in the body may cause cancer. In intensive studies, it was found that subjects who were not alive had a zero percent chance of developing cancer. The reason for this, it was found, was because life is essential to the cancer cells. Without this necessity, the cancer cells died.

The studies even suggest a potential treatment: removing all the life from the patient's body until the cancer has disappeared. It is not known how soon this new treatment will be available to the public, as clinical trials are still not complete. Researchers said they would be ready for human testing some time in November.
Tags: fake news, funny, yogap
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