So it's a good thing that both my writing and my magick are showing signs of returning. I've been writing a lot more. My situation hasn't gotten any better, but I guess on some level I've just had enough of being depressed all the time and I'm fighting back. And just today I got the brainwave to sing an affirmation spell. What I sang was "My prosperity is a fire, it is burning higher and higher," with occasional inlays of "My prosperity is a flame, it will help me win this game." (The game of life.) I can't speak for the final results yet, but I could feel that it was quite powerful, powerful enough to reaffirm my knowledge that I seem to be a natural at magick, always very strong at it whenever I actually do it. I especially liked how I was envisioning a flame inside myself getting bigger as I sang the affirmation, and the quickening tempo of the song the longer it went on. The visualization was a little hard to maintain at first, but then after a few minutes it got to the point where it maintained itself without my focusing on it. After a while, the flame spread and in my mind's eye I became composed of flame. This happens a lot to me when I do magick; fire is one of my favorite visualizations, and my Goddess (Djao'Kain or Shao'Kehn), who has a copy of Herself living in my head with me and who is often represented by fire due to Her being a chaos Goddess, will often come to the front of my mind when I do magick and join with me. When we do that and then become composed of flame in my mind's eye, it usually starts at the eyes and works its way out. But this time it went out and into the eyes. Either way, merging with my Goddess gives the spells extra oompf, which I like.
I forgot to mention, I was doing all this while on my way walking from one place to another. As I approached my destination, the flames in my mind's eye shot sideways and then up, so I was fire contained in a cylinder made of fire. When I reached the destination and ended the spell, the magickal fire went out in every direction, dissipating out into the world where I hope it's still working.
I plan on doing more of this tomorrow. And I'm glad I thought of music. I have for a long time used song and voice rhythmics as part of my spirituality. My favorite thing to do in that regard is using my voice to mimic other instruments, like the digeridoo (sp?). Odd that I never thought of using it for magick until today.