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From OKP

It is the year 2012. I have successfully gained world domination. However, ruling the whole planet all by myself is nearly impossible, so I'm looking for assistants who each get a part of the world to rule over.

Here's the rules: pick a country or region you'd like to rule over. Of course you cannot pick one that has already been taken. also, you cannot pick all of America (for instance), but only one state. Same goes for Russia and China - pick a region, not the whole giant country.

Once you've chosen your domain:
- rename it to something you like (the funnier the better)
- give yourself a nice title ("his excellency, methastasius the supreme master of sugarland"?)
- choose a residence for yourself (a pink castle with seven towers?)
- make a few laws you'd like to introduce (yes, make silly laws like "blue socks are banned"!)

have fun and be creative!

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( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
consortofvenus
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:08 am (UTC)
Canada = Soviet Canuckistan (if I can only have one province... I'll take Quebec)
My title = The Red Baron and I'll be the purely symbolic Monarch
A large Romanesque church shall be my residence. I'll replace the altar with a king sized bed
Laws:
-No one is allowed to listen to Cascada
-Pornography and prostitution shall be completely legal and people who abuse the workers shall be severely punished
-Pop artists will have to start trying to make quality music
-Polluters have to pay a large sin tax and that's after strict environmental policy is applied
-Any religion whose God supports nationalized welfare must take on the responsibility for collecting the funds for it, through charity and not through legal or physical coercion
-Anyone who claims that God loves them must, biweekly, suck a large golden cock statue in his name
-Our national motto? "We kill our kings (from sea to sea)" [why I'm just a Baron]
-Members of Hell's Angels will be forced to accept the same treatment that they impose on others and we'll broadcast the results in the form of a reality show (with old Batman series sound affects and Rob Zombie hosting)
-Rapists and child molesters will suffer their own crime (before being executed)
fayanora
Feb. 6th, 2009 11:05 am (UTC)
But what of those who know think that God is a woman?

I claim the land of the Nile River Delta for my own, and rename it Devil's Penis. My title shall be Lady Pink Bunnyslippers and I shall live in a Hello Kitty castle.
consortofvenus
Feb. 6th, 2009 12:46 pm (UTC)
Our laws are flexible. They can lick a giant gold pussy.
fayanora
Feb. 6th, 2009 08:40 pm (UTC)
Does it have to be gold? Can't it be chocolate?
consortofvenus
Feb. 6th, 2009 09:23 pm (UTC)
Nope. Only gold. On special occasions, we'll pull the giant bronze asshole out of storage.
fayanora
Feb. 6th, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC)
Dare I ask why?
consortofvenus
Feb. 7th, 2009 01:33 am (UTC)
I just like gold lol. And for hundreds of years it was considered the height of wealth.
fayanora
Feb. 7th, 2009 07:28 am (UTC)
So you want to rule the Republic of Kansas? Fine by me. I was born there. :-)
christinaathena
Feb. 7th, 2009 07:36 am (UTC)
No, not the Republic of Kansas. The Kingdom of Kansas! I shall rule with an iron (but benevolent) fist!
fayanora
Feb. 7th, 2009 10:29 am (UTC)
An iron but benevolent fist? Interesting.

Also, appropriate icon is appropriate.
christinaathena
Feb. 8th, 2009 04:24 am (UTC)
Yes. I will ruthlessly crush the Enemies of the Revolution! My people will be happy! I will see to this!!! THERE WILL BE NO DISSATISFACTION IN THE PEOPLE'S FREE AND GLORIOUS KINGDOM OF KANSAS!!!!

*ahem*

Name: The People's Democratic and Unified Kingdom of Kansas and Missouri (Name reflects the kingdom's borders after the Kansas-Missouri War of 2017; we also do not recognize the western part of our territory occupied by the evil despotic Republic of Colorado)
Title: Xir Most Beloved and Benevolent Majesty, King/Queen Ran Ka, First of the Name, Founder of the Kingdom, Mother/Father of the Nation, Protector of the People's Rights, Defender of their Liberties, and Destroyer of Their Enemies
Residence: Several official residences, all replicas - but twice as large - as the residences of other nations' HOS's, including the White House, Buckingham Palace, and the Imperial Palace in Tokyo
Currency The Kansan Pound. The Kansan Pound shall be divided as the old British Pound was, and shall be worth US$24 (hence, 1 Kansan penny = 1 US dime). £1 shall be the smallest banknote, and £20 shall be the largest; 1d shall be the smallest coin, and 10/- the largest
Laws (a few of these are identical to kengr below, great minds thinking alike, it seems!):
Fundamentalists of any faith must live by the technology of their religions' founders; wanna live like the ancient Israelites? No fancy running water or iron for you!

Reality shows shall be banned, along with 95% of the rest of TV's content

Contraception shall be available from the state for free to all who ask, and all schools shall be required to teach comprehensive sexual education; home schooling shall be highly restricted, and must meet stringent requirements

Same-sex marriage shall be legal, as shall polygamy

Obscenity, indecent exposure, blasphemy, sexual immorality, etc.; laws of that nature shall not exist

The law shall not consider Sunday any differently than any other day of the week. Businesses, of course, shall remain free to treat Sundays differently. But anything legal on the other 6 days of the week shall be legal on Sunday as well

Universal health care

Legal prostitution, with strict labor laws and privacy laws

Legalization of most drugs (some drugs - particularly those that cause one to behave violently, or things like roofies, shall remain illegal)

Religious beliefs shall have no special protection; if your religious beliefs conflict with the requirements of your job, either find some way around your beliefs or get a new job; no "conscientious objections" for pharmacists, etc.

CEO pay shall be capped at 50 times the wages of the average employee, with any "outsourced" labor being counted in the average (thus preventing low-wage jobs from being "spun-off" to raise the average), and any other safeguards which may be necessary

A Royal Committee for the Study of Automation shall be implemented to regulate the replacement of human labor with automation, to minimize, as much as possible, the effects of automation

Tariffs and other barriers to international trade shall be low, but imports must be inspected for safety and must be made under conditions that meet certain minimum labor standards; sweatshop items shall be illegal

The state shall ensure a quality education to all its citizens, including ensuring affordable post-secondary education, as well as job training

All current disability laws shall be enforced stringently, and new laws may be introduced as needed.

No discrimination of any kind on the basis of traits which do not directly impact ones job performance shall be permitted; this shall include gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, language, gender identity, etc.

Both pro-religious and anti-religious advertising shall be illegal; both pro- and anti-religious books shall remain perfectly legal.

All citizens shall be required to know at least two languages, including English; the state shall make language education available to all
fayanora
Feb. 8th, 2009 04:47 am (UTC)
All citizens shall be required to know at least two languages, including English; the state shall make language education available to all

I wish to learn German!
kengr
Feb. 7th, 2009 04:22 am (UTC)
Oregon shall become the Republic of Blaine (look up John G Blaine)

I shall be known as Big Sister. And I shall live in this nice mansion up on Mt. Tabor (my needs are modest)

Ah, the laws:

Nudity is permissable anywhere, subject only to health and safery regulations. Public indecency shall only apply to things like jacking off in front of an unwilling audience.

Prostitution is legal, with health checks required. Pimps and madams will have to be vetted and will get heavy jail sentence for abuse of their workers.

Obscenity will no longer be a legal concept.

Drugs are legal as is "underage" alcohol consumption. But public intoxication and operating an dangerous device while impaired will be crimes. And yes, that means that being too *sleepy* will be just as bad as being too drunk.

Coercion in choice of religion or schooling/job by parents or guardians shall be illegal. You can insist the kids learn about your religion. You can't say they aren't allowed to learn about others.

Distributing incorrect information in the news or as part of a campaign for or against something shall be treated in ways similar to the slander/libel laws. If it was an honest goof, you just have tp publish the correct info in a manner that gets it similar attention.

If you did it on purpose, you'll be required to put forth a stronger effort and get heavily fined and possibly face jail time.

The same goes for failing to distinguish between fact and opinion.

Anyone trying to claim that scientific "theories" are the same sort of vague hypothesis that "i have a theory" generally means in TV shows or common conversation will be required to do without the benefits of those theories. Like modern medicine, anything electronic, etc.

Sexual orientation, gender, sex and gender identity shall be just as protected as race or religion.

People having religious objections to any of the above shall be required to wear brightly colored armbands to warn off people.

If possible (ie if we can come up with a reliable test) "adult" shall be determined by responsibility/maturity. Not by calendar age. Anyone already considered adult will be given the benefit of the doubt until they are caught being overly immature or irresponsible, at which point they will be required to take the test. They *can* refuse, but doing so will automatically make them a minor.

It shall be illegal for a boss to make workers work more hours in a shift or a week than he does. This goes all the way up the chain to company presidents. Emergencies are allowable. But "emergencies" that go on for "weeks" will be treated as attempts to get around the law.

Workers can volunteer for more hours. But if it is discovered that it was "volunteering" because they had been led to believe that failure to do so would result in *any* penalty, including bad performance reviews, then the employer will get gigged as for mandatory overtime.

fayanora
Feb. 7th, 2009 07:14 am (UTC)
And yes, that means that being too *sleepy* will be just as bad as being too drunk.

I have a slight problem with this... you see, my mind and body appear to be thought-powered; when I'm really really bored, I get very tired. I used to drive 30+ miles to and from work (60 mile round trip), and the scenery was extremely dull. I had, for quite a while, difficulty staying awake on the drive. I tried listening to music, and that didn't help - no matter how interesting or how loud, it only worked for a few minutes before having the opposite effect. I was at a loss. I still occasionally have dreams about driving in that half-awake state. Thinking about various things helped, but eventually I ran out of things to think about.

I finally found a solution in books on tape/CD. They engaged my mind, allowing me to remain alert and focused. And if the weather was bad, even without books on tape I was able to maintain focus. Still, there were several months, maybe even over half a year (I don't remember how long exactly) when I was in almost constant peril of running off the road. The danger to other drivers was minimal - hardly anyone drove on that road - but the danger to me was pretty big. I shouldn't have done it, but I was stubborn about figuring out why it was happening and finding a solution. Which, thankfully, I eventually did.

If possible (ie if we can come up with a reliable test) "adult" shall be determined by responsibility/maturity. Not by calendar age. Anyone already considered adult will be given the benefit of the doubt until they are caught being overly immature or irresponsible, at which point they will be required to take the test. They *can* refuse, but doing so will automatically make them a minor.

I have a problem with this as well, because I don't think I'd pass as "adult."

Other than those points, I like your Republic of Blaine.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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