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March 19th, 2019

My tweets


Parental authority

Left a comment on a Quora answer that I think is worth repeating over here:

“From Day 1, children need to understand that the parents are benevolent/kindly dictators.”

Uh, no. Parents need to be more like a good teacher or a good role model. IE, “I have experience you can learn from, I can help you learn how to live in the world. You don’t have to do exactly as I do, but I’m an example.” But parents also have to spend at least *some* time playing with their kids.

Yes, kids do need routine and rules, but the rules need to be applied at least somewhat democratically. That is, kids are people too and a lot smarter than adults give them credit for, so their input concerning the rules needs to be considered too. Sometimes rules don’t account for a child’s needs, for instance a rule to do homework in silence might not work - the kid might need the radio on for some background noise to get any work done because their mind wanders in silence.

Other times a rule is unfair, and a lot of kids have an innate sense of fairness. An unfair rule needs the kid’s input so they and the parental figure can work on a compromise.

So it’s more like a constitutional monarchy, I think. The parent is the ultimate authority, but in that authority it’s their duty to listen to and consider the needs and wants of the people.

This was cross-posted from https://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1431453.html
You can comment either here or there.


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