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January 24th, 2019

Another bizarre question

Being a writer of science fiction and fantasy sure brings up a lot of fucking bizarre questions for me. Here's the latest one: what's the average volume of a twelve year old girl in the US? No, not weight - volume.

Context: I have a character, named Acorn, who is a wood nymph. She looks like a 12 year old girl, more or less. She IS a 12 year old girl, in fact, despite also being a walking, talking tree shaped like a girl. Oak tree, specifically. I forget the exact species offhand, but one of the ones native to Oregon.

A scene I have calls for her to be carried by a character who is a 12 year old human girl standing 4 foot 5 inches tall. I need to figure out how much Acorn would weigh, being she's made of wood, basically. That much wood would probably weigh something different than that much human meat and bones. Hence, my needing volume instead of weight. But Wolfram Alpha didn't know what the fuck to make of my request for the average volume of a twelve year old girl. Haven't tried Google yet, but I don't imagine that would be any better.

She'd be a little lighter than oak wood normally would be, out of necessity in order to be flexible enough to move like a human. I don't recall her height offhand, but probably like 5' 5" or so. Slender, since fat isn't something she has to worry about. But she does have something like a stomach and can digest food, a bit like a pitcher plant. That possibly reduces the weight a little.

Go ahead, laugh at this question, it's bizarre and hilarious! I'm laughing at it right now in fact. But if anybody has ideas for how to figure out the answer, please don't hesitate to tell me.

Edit: yup, Google doesn't know either. Also I can't stop laughing at how ridiculous this question is. :)

EDIT 2: Okay, so Oregon white oak wood weighs 69 pounds per cubic foot. I figured out how to ballpark Acorn's cubic foot measurement by taking her height (61 inches) by 1 foot by 1 foot, converting it to cm^3 first and getting about 5.085 ft^3. Take 5.085 times 69 and you get... about 350 pounds! O_O ROTFLMAO!!! OMG, as ridiculous as I thought the question was, the answer is even worse!!! LOL!!! *Dies laughing* Because OMG, she looks like she should weight 100 pounds soaking wet, and instead she's 350 fucking pounds!!! LMAO!!!

EDIT 3: I just spent the last 5 minutes having a laugh attack after this thought occurred to me: she went to a mundane elementary school, trying to pass as human with a glamour!!!

EDIT 4 (final): Okay, phew! Did the math wrong. She'd actually weigh 2/3rds what a human her size normally would. That's much better, and makes more sense now I think about it. (So if a human her size weighed 95, she'd weigh 63.)

This was cross-posted from https://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1424376.html
You can comment either here or there.

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