August 9th, 2017


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Quora moderation

Alex and I both have accounts on, which has been described as "Yahoo Answers for intelligent people who know how to use grammar." For many months now, he has been complaining frequently of getting hit for violations of their "Be Nice Be Respectful" policy.

While most of that is Alex's adversarial nature, I am starting to think Alex may be right about Quora's "Be Nice Be Respectful" policy being a bit ridiculous, because I got hit with my first Quora moderation notice for a violation of that policy, and this is the text of the answer they were objecting to, that they collapsed (whatever that means):

The question: "What if your teenage child came out to you as transgender but you were sure they were wrong?"

The answer:

The only way to be sure to either be a time traveler from the future, or to be the person themselves. And as to that first one, you still don't have the right to tell them they're wrong.

Basically, you think you know HE is wrong, but you don't. You don't know diddly squawk about HIS gender. You clearly don't respect your child's gender identity, either. If you did, you would not have misgendered your SON. If HE says he's trans, then HE is, end of story. If he changes his mind later, that doesn't mean you were right and he was wrong, it means that something changed. You’re wrong, he’s right, deal with it.

Stop being a transphobic bigot and just accept the truth: you have a SON, not a daughter.

So yes, I believe he has a point. When it becomes a rule violation to point out that someone is being a bigot, that is the point at which your rules need to be changed to something more sane.

This is what I changed it to:

If he says he is male, then he is male, and that is all there is to the discussion. You are not him, you do not know what he is feeling, so you are not able to know if he is wrong or not. You need to accept the fact that you have a son, not a daughter. And you need to use his proper pronouns and his new name if he has chosen one. Anything less is disrespectful to him.

I hope this will be acceptable to them. I am not sure, as there does not appear to be anything in the explanation of their policy (link here) that comes anywhere close to covering this supposed violation, so I am uncertain as to what exactly they are objecting to. If anyone has any ideas on which part of the policy I violated, it would be potentially very helpful to me in the future.

This was cross-posted from
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