What was meant to be a simple 3-sentence post mocking the bullshit Tumblr complaint of "cisphobia" turned into a rant:
OMG! People getting called bad names and getting vitriol in their general but not specific direction on the Internet because of their gender identity! Gee, I wonder what that would feel like?
Seriously, guys, don't complain until you start getting harassment in meatspace about it, or beat up physically because you used the "wrong" bathroom. Or if you can't find any cis people in media who aren't played as complete jokes. Talk to me if trans people start murdering cis people just for being cis. Or start harassing, beating up, or murdering other trans people because they thought they were cis. Talk to me when your only worth to most people is because cis people are their fetish the same way feet or shoes are, reduced down to a sexual object just because of your gender expression. Talk to me when you can't get through the week without trans people asking you what your "real name" is, or asking deeply personal questions about your genitals without any permission or preamble, and then getting offended when you tell them you're not going to answer. Talk to me when trans people demand to see "proof" that you're cis, asking to see your genitals and/or breasts, touching you without permission, and/or raping/murdering you if you refuse. Talk to me when you're constantly being called a liar whenever you talk about yourself; when you get strange looks wherever you go; when people stage whisper or openly speculate about your "real" gender when they walk by, without even pretending to give a shit that you can hear them.
Talk to me when you try to date someone, you hit it off with them, it looks like you might get laid, then you tell them your gender identity and they look at you like you're a sack of maggots and condescendingly tell you that they can't date you because your genitals are "wrong." Or just as bad, treat you like a mentally retarded child and tell you you're a freak gently.
Talk to me when being cis can get you fired from your job, or not even considered for employment. Talk to me about it when being cis means that people paid to help you survive, such as government welfare workers, treat you like something less important than a dog with fleas.
Complain about cisphobia to me when you can be made to feel your life is in danger at your workplace because - even though you're going stealth - a police officer tells you he knows you're a "faggot queer" and he's "going to be keeping an eye on you," just because your pants and shoes are a tiny bit nonconforming.
Tell me all about cisphobia when you spend a large chunk of every day feeling unsafe, outcast, loveless, unlovable, despised, the butt of jokes, a freak, unnatural, and berated.
Tell me about it when you finally find a safe place you can be yourself without all the hatred, cruelty, harassment, bullying, belittling, and laughter at your expense, only to have the same people who make your life Hell invade your safe space, respond to everything you say to your fellow cis people as though you were talking directly to your tormentors, take everything you say about your tormentors personally as though you were accusing them personally of doing every single thing you complained about.
Tell me all about cisphobia when you respond to those people invading your safe places, saying they don't belong there and begging them to stop responding to messages that are not aimed at them, and to please leave you alone, because they're taking away the one good thing you've found in your life, and they refuse because they can't seem to be satisfied unless they're fucking with you every moment of your life wherever you go. Then watch as they get angry and scream at you as though you had initiated the abuse, as though it was you who were pursuing them wherever they went, when it was THEY who chose to come into YOUR territory and piss on everything to claim it as their own because God forbid you have anywhere at all to exist, you fucking worthless freak.
Please, talk to me about cisphobia when everything you say to try to get rid of these pesky invaders is twisted out of context so that literally everything you say is somehow a personal attack against them. Talk to me about how oppressed you are when these people make up lies about your safe spaces and what goes on in them, to make your safe spaces look like some moral cesspit just because you had the audacity to TALK ABOUT THE SHIT YOU'VE GONE THROUGH YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE, to other people who have been going through the same ordeals!
Tell me all about cisphobia when you can't go anywhere to talk about the crap trans people put you through for being cis without trans people making everything about them, and constantly barraging you with "not all trans people are like that!" Tell me about it when you laugh at the stupidity of it all, that they can't seem to realize that telling you "not all trans people are like that!" automatically contradicts their statement because by assaulting you in your safe space with that sentiment IS harassment, IS abuse, and DOES ABSOLUTELY turn them into the very people they claim not to be!
Yes, please do tell me all about cisphobia when literally everything has to be about trans people, because "you cis freaks" aren't allowed opinions or safe places because you SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST, because you are a perversion of nature, sinful, Satanic, a pedophile, or worse!
Tell me about cisphobia when trans people who claim to be "cis allies" won't let you talk for yourself, THEY must talk FOR you, because they think you're too stupid to use big words, and/or your opinion is worthless, only THEIR opinion counts. And then when you call them out on this bullshit, they withdraw their support and treat you the same as the rest of your tormentors, proving they were never allies to begin with. Because they want to do all the work for you and how dare you have to audacity to try to deprive them of yet another opportunity to make absolutely sure they are the center of attention at all times!
Complain all you like to me when your supposed "cis allies" make HUGE profits off half-assed attempts to bring "awareness" to the "cis struggle" with merchandise and albums and concerts and tours and so on, and keep all that money to themselves, or give it away to groups that don't do JACK SHIT to make anything any better for anyone but themselves, when there are SO many ways that money could help: cis kids living on the streets after being kicked out by their parents, prostituting themselves because it's the only way they can find to make money; cis people living on poverty wages at a job that makes them sick to their stomach every day, and unable to change their lot for the better because it's the only job that will hire them; cis people being murdered for being cis left right and center but the "allies" say nothing about that; cis kids being bullied in school, going home with bloody noses and a mess of bruises every day only to come home to their parents telling them they have to change who they are to prevent more beatings; and so many things besides.
Complain to me about cisphobia when nobody will hire cis actors or actresses for roles, even to play cis characters. Tell me how, when you try to complain about the discriminatory and offensive practice of cis people not getting to play even cis characters, everyone tells you you're "too sensitive" and how you should be grateful that "such a good actor" was chosen for the role, even though as a trans person he has NO FUCKING IDEA the shit you've gone through your whole life, and so HOW THE HELL could he *possibly* play a cis character properly? Tell me, when you campaign for cis actors to play cis characters, about how you're sneered at, scoffed at, laughed at, and basically told to shut the fuck up already, because nobody fucking cares about cis actors except "some stupid social justice warriors" on Tumblr.
Bitch at me about cisphobia when, upon being raped for being cis, you're told it was your fault for "lying" about yourself, and "leading them on." Cry at me about cisphobia when cis people are being murdered at several times the rate of trans people, and not a single one of those murders is on the 5 o'clock news, and the ONLY media outlets covering the story AT ALL are online, and even you only found out about it yourself because of a "social justice warrior" post on Tumblr.
Scream at me about cisphobia when the ONE cis actress in the public spotlight, who has won awards and been nominated for others, who fights for cis rights and is a WONDERFUL human being, gets voted onto Time magazine's "100 Most Influential People" by NINETY PERCENT, basically a fucking LANDSLIDE, and then the magazine COMPLETELY DISREGARDS this vote and chooses some fucking tinpot dictator and some vapid pop stars to put in the magazine instead. Tell me about cisphobia when your screams of protest at this outrage are met with silence at best, and acidic vitriol or death threats at worst.
Tell me all about cisphobia when your entire existence is either shit on, ignored, or erased. Let me know when even Left-leaning liberal entertainers are using cis people as the punchline of a joke. Tell me about it when your understandable RAGE at EVERY FUCKING THING that has happened to you and your fellows because of your gender identity is cited as proof that you are an over-emotional, super-sensitive, trans-phobic bigot. Tell me about cisphobia when your hyperbole statements of frustration about your trans oppressors, in a conversation between just you and your fellow cis people, is twisted out of context into "OMG that was a death threat!" and cited as proof that you are "just as bad" as the people you are complaining about, even by people you thought were cool before. Because, once again, absolutely everything must be about your oppressors, because the sun shines out their assholes and you're just this little worthless freak.
Then, and ONLY then, will you have a right to complain about cisphobia, and don't you DARE talk to me about it until that day comes. But know that if that ever does happens, I will listen to you and I will be there for you even though you weren't there for me. Because it is the right thing to do.
This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1233584.html
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