August 14th, 2013

mourning

Harry and Luna

I don't like how J. K. Rowling did the whole Harry/Ginny thing. I have nothing against Ginny/Harry in principle, because I thought her crush on Harry was cute. But the way it was done in the end sucks. Harry has zero interest in her until halfway through the sixth book, and suddenly WHAM! He's smitten. When I first read the 6th book, Harry's feelings for Ginny seemed to come out of nowhere, and I strongly suspected Ginny had used amortentia on him. Re-reading it many times, I still think that his feelings for Ginny came out of nowhere. It all has the feel of Rowling forcing them together against Harry's will, like Rowling went "DRINK THE LOVE POTION, POTTER! DRINK IT!" I don't know about Rowling, but if I tried doing something like that to a character, they would stop cooperating, and then any attempt to write them would make them feel flat and lifeless. The soul of the character would be gone.

Personally, if I had been writing the series, I would have put Harry and Luna together. There were enough moments in the fifth and sixth books between them that felt to me like the two characters trying to tell Rowling they wanted to be together, that I would have noticed and would have obliged. Yes, it would be a strange romance, but theirs was a strange yet magnetic friendship, after all. And I would have done it more gradually, more obviously, and more organically. They might not even be officially dating until after the war, if done properly. Maybe build things up and have Harry kiss Luna dramatically after vanquishing Voldy.

So yeah, I think J. K. Rowling is one of those people who more or less accidentally crapped out a classic series, but her writing skills are so appalling in places, especially in the later books, that I have no interest in anything else she's written, especially not stuff for adults. And I doubt I will, unless it's more Potterverse books. And not this stupid Pottermore shit, but an actual series. From what I've seen of her writing, she needs to stick to children's books because she doesn't have the skills to write for adults. She's still 1000 times better than Stephanie Meyer, but that isn't saying much. A mentally retarded chimpanzee with hooks for hands could write a better book than "Twilight" by smearing its feces on paper.

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1161711.html
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mourning

HP fanfic I started

I have recently started a Harry Potter fan fiction, starring an original character named Kali Wintersbane. She is a trans-girl, and attends Hogwarts. She is going to end up being a somewhat morally ambiguous character. One of the things leading to this will be that, because wizarding law doesn't let her transform into a full female legally until she turns 17, and because some potential friends find out she has a penis and reject her, she will have no human friends at Hogwarts. I have already gotten to her sorting, where she is in Ravenclaw. (She rejected Slytherin due to its tendency to attract bullies.) And it is a perfect fit for her, since she's going to be smarter than even Hermione, and have a natural knack for languages.

It is a slightly AU future, which allows me to make decisions about things that don't have any information in canon, or things I think should have happened in canon and didn't. For instance, Harry is the new DADA teacher; with the death of Voldemort, the job is no longer jinxed. They've also ousted Professor Binns, for being a useless teacher. Oh, and Professor Longbottom will be the Headmaster. :-)

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1161934.html
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mourning

Watching the HP movies is painful.

To pass the time, I started watching the HP6 movie. (HP and the Half Blood Prince.) Good fucking gods, that whole series of movies needed a book-slapper. (Book slapper: a job proposed by Cracked.com. A book slapper is someone whose job it is to read the book and slap the director with it whenever the director says "What if...") That pointless, stupid scene with the waitress, for instance; what the fuck was up with that? Okay, so Harry digs black chicks, fine. But that wasn't in the book and it makes no sense at all in the movie.

And oh ye gods, the race-bending of Lavender Brown. If I had been the book-slapper for that, I would have tied the book to a cricket bat and WHAM! straight to the kisser!

The director of HP6 would have been in the hospital before the movie was even half finished, if I had been the book-slapper.

Which isn't to say I'd hit them every time they said "what if," no. Some changes make sense and are improvements. Like when Dumbledore asks Harry if he wonders why they're there and Harry says "Honestly, sir, at this point I just kinda go with it." I could see myself lifting the book, ready to slap the director for that "what if," and then narrowing my eyes and lowering the book, saying, "You may proceed."

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1162042.html
You can comment either here or there.