April 30th, 2012

mourning

My weekend

Saturday night sucked. But not too horribly. Got to bed around 11, asleep by about midnight, because I had to get up early to go to the Beltane celebration at Lord Ansur's house. I'd been missing 3 or 4 weeks' worth of Unitarian Universalist services already by then, for various reasons, and so I've not been used to getting up so early, or going to bed so early. Anyway, so because I hadn't done things right, I only slept about 4 or 5 hours before I woke up and just could not get back to sleep. Kept trying anyway. Stomach was demanding food after an hour of trying, so I ate a peanut butter sandwich and tried sleeping again. BAD IDEA! I was just finally getting back to sleep when I was rudely awoken by really bad acid reflux, the kind that makes it burn to cough, makes breathing very difficult, and even with antacids takes 15 to 25 minutes to go away completely. Which I've found is often triggered by trying to sleep too soon after eating. Not always, but often enough that I ought to have known better.

Well, after that, I gave up on sleep completely. Got on the computer to dink around for a while before making a proper breakfast (mostly giving the acid reflux time to go away enough to risk eating again). Apparently, however much sleep I got was enough. I tried taking a nap when I got home from the celebration, but to no avail. So there's that.

Anyway... so I was out the door and at the bus stop by 10:30, since I knew the bus would be there at 10:40. And it was. It is a 45 minute bus trip to the stop I get off at in the area, and it took me another 40 minutes walking to get to Ansur's house. There is supposedly a way there that gets one a LOT closer to Ansur's house by transferring to the 31 from the 71, but it would have required leaving earlier. That, and the several times I've been to the area, I don't think I've ever seen the 31. It supposedly runs every day, but I've never seen it in that area on Sundays (I've only ever been in the area on Sundays).

Whoever does the weather work for Ansur's coven is damned good. The night before, Google was saying it was going to be mostly cloudy and rainy on Sunday. And when I left, it looked like Google was going to be right... it was grey and looked like it was going to rain any minute. But by the time I got off the bus, the clouds were dissipating. By the time I got to Ansur's house, it was bright and sunny, and stayed that way. As of the writing of this entry, it's still bright and sunny outside.

Being a pot luck, I had to bring something. So I brought apple juice. Which, among other things, they used for the drink in the ritual! :-) So many people brought so much yummy food that even getting very small amounts of everything, and going back for seconds, I still didn't get to try everything I wanted to try before I became stuffed like it was Thanksgiving.

Ritual was fun. They had a may pole with ribbons, and with alternating men/women, they wove the ribbons. I took part in that last year, so I just watched this year; they did a better job this year than last. Last year, there were weird bunches, and gaps, and stuff. After the may pole dance, there was the crowning of the new May King and May Queen. Then the ritual with the apple juice and small bits of blueberry muffin, thanking the deities for the fruitfulness of the year. Then everyone went over to the altar to take a flower, say a prayer to the deity of their choice, then jump over the Beltane fire (which was in a small iron pot, the wood having been set ablaze with the help of some clear alcohol). Nobody got caught on fire, thankfully. :-) (No, I don't think it's ever happened to them.) Most people's flowers lost their heads when their people jumped, so there were frequent jokes about people getting "deflowered." :-D

When it was all over, and they were putting away the may pole, one person took the top off of the pole and set it on this one little girl's head, calling her the "bean pole" (a joke; the girl couldn't have been older than 6, and looked a little like a young Sammi Hanratty).

Then when all was said and done, I got a ride back to the bus stop, cutting 45 minutes off my trip home, and - Sahn-kia Dochrahmahn Tu-Rah! - the bus arrived in just 10 minutes.

Blegh... then I finally gave in to the impulse to nap, and what should have been a one hour nap became 5 hours of sleep, totally fucking with my sleep schedule. I didn't get properly to bed until after 10 AM. >:-(

In other weekend news, my home PC is being weird about sound. Video sound goes really quiet on occasion, often enough that I've taken to playing videos and music on my laptop instead.

I've also figured out a simpler solution to communication between the two computers. You see, neither computer will let me access the other the way I want to. I'd been able to get the laptop to read the 2 TB drive via the network, but I couldn't write to the 2TB drive from the laptop. The only way, until recently, to move files from one computer to the other via the network was go into the "public" folder, which is a bitch to find. And then I'd have to move files from the "public" folder onto the 2TB drive from the home PC. All in all, that solution had the feeling of one of those overly-convoluted machine things, what are those called?
But anyway... the other day, I managed to get a new folder on the 2TB drive to be shared in such a way that both computers can read and write on that folder. Which greatly simplifies moving files from the laptop to the 2TB drive.
If you're wondering why I didn't just share the whole 2TB drive... I did try that, many times. It never worked. On occasion, it would work for a while and then just stop working. But so far, sharing just this one folder has worked very well for a relatively long time. Which is good, because my flash drive was starting to fill up. :-)

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1080245.html
You can comment either here or there.
mourning

Rude questions

I can't recall a single incident of someone asking me questions about my gender since I started to present as female1, except for a few days ago when someone at the pagan meetup - who was perfectly cool with it - very politely asked, including something along the lines of "if it's too personal, just tell me to shut up and I will." I answered, because it was someone I knew and liked, and they were so polite, and so I didn't mind in that instance. I mean, I'm kind of open about it amongst pagans anyway. I don't go broadcasting it, and I rarely talk about it even among pagans and other fellow weirdos, but I do talk about it, or at least mention things related to it, on occasion.

But it got me thinking about what I would say if someone I didn't want to answer - like a stranger - asked me that question. I thought about it, and I finally decided that no matter how polite the stranger was, I think my answer would be "What an incredibly rude question to ask! How'd you like it if I walked up to you out of the blue and questioned your gender?" If they pressed it, I'd probably say "None of your damn business" or "if you can't tell by how I'm dressed, then you need glasses."

Seriously, I can't think of anyone, whether trans or cis, who wouldn't be offended by strangers or anyone but friends asking such a rude and personal question. Truthfully, unless you're about to have sex with someone, their birth sex really is none of anyone's goddamn business.

After all, how would you cis people like it if someone walked up to you out of the blue and started asking you deeply personal questions about your genitals? Like the size of your dick, do you shave your pubes, things like that. It'd be sexual harassment! Can you think of a single cis male who would be cool with you questioning his manhood? Can you think of a single cis female who wouldn't be insulted to be misgendered as a male? I can't. Straight, cis men tend to be notoriously touchy about questions to their manhood. And I've accidentally misgendered enough cis women to know that being mistaken for a man offends a lot of them.

So why is it that people think it's okay to ask these questions of trans people? I've experienced the same curiosity of some people, wondering whether someone was cis or a fellow trans person, but I long ago learned to keep that curiosity inside. If someone wants to tell you, that's their business. Until they see fit to tell you, it really is none of your business. It's just rude to ask. And why are you thinking so much about the other person's genitals anyway, you pervert? :-)

Heh, there's another good answer (without the smiley) to give prying strangers. :-)

1 = In Iowa, when I was in boy mode, I was forever getting weird looks and overhearing comments of "is that a boy or a girl?" Now in girl mode, nobody seems to notice me, which suits me just fine.

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1080703.html
You can comment either here or there.
mourning

Warning

If an employer asks for your Facebook or other social media network password, tell them no. Tell them that it is illegal to ask for that information, and none of their business. For one thing, it's asking for access to a private, password protected computer account, which is illegal to ask for or to access without a warrant. Secondly, it can give the employer access to information on religion, sexuality, politics, and other prejudicial information. Third, and I can't stress this enough, it does not matter if you have "nothing to hide." That is irrelevant. Privacy is important, whether you think you have anything to hide or not. Because anything can be twisted around and used against you.

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1081030.html
You can comment either here or there.