August 11th, 2011

blanc

So many things to do! Never enough time.

Bleh. Last few days I've been feeling like there's so many things I want to do, and never enough time to do them. I had to set my fiction writing aside because I wanted to focus on my spirituality until I can get to a point where I can do one major spiritual thing (or several minor spiritual things) a day and still do other stuff. No idea how long that's going to take. But I need the focus on my spirituality; it was a huge part of who I was before my depression-driven life in Portland started slowly whittling it down to a nubbins. So I need to restore that part of myself, it should also help fight the depression.

But then there are other things, too. Meetups, exercise, trying to figure out when and where to let Molly do some drawing and coloring (one picture she drew a month or so ago is still half uncolored), also Molly wants to write some of her own stories. We've also been neglecting the other online journals; Alex is the only one who posts regularly to his LJ/DW (other than this one, of course). There's also reading to do, and we still have to go get a maintenance request form for the broken toilet seat that broke last week. And then there's the part of me that doesn't want to do these things in a row, it wants to do these every day, and wants to add fiction writing to the list. And there are things we keep postponing, like taking different buses to explore the bus lines, doing photography, and other projects. Then there's visiting Brooke at her apartment. The laundry also needs doing.

Gah! I totally understand why Shao'Kehn, in the Shao'Bahn scriptures, purposefully multiplied Herself. When you have so much you want to do and you want to do it all at once, it can drive one crazy.

The worst part of it is, I can't even schedule certain things in the same day together because if I do one thing, I'll be too tired for the other, or not have time for the other. If I bike, even along an easy route, before trying to do spiritual writing at Freddy's, I'll be exhausted and unable to write. If I write first, I'll probably run out of daylight to bike in. So I'll have to do some thinking, and some experimenting, to see what things I can schedule together, and hopefully actually do them.

Blargh.

Crossposted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org
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