November 11th, 2010


Mixed feelings about Veteran's Day

If it weren't for the Internet, I would never know when some of these holidays come up. When I was a kid, I tolerated most of the national holidays because they got us out of school. Yule was the only one we got out for that I really cared for. Well, that and Thanksgiving. I never understood why we didn't get out for Halloween. I frakkin LOVE Halloween.

But I loathed Veteran's Day. I never got to get out of school for it, as far as I can remember. No, what they did instead was drag us to these stupid veteran's memorial services. It was like a field trip, except that field trips are fun and interesting, and this was neither. I remember being bored out of my fucking mind, because I didn't give even half a shit about any of it, and would rather be at school where we could be doing something constructive. See, I was a weird kid; I hated homework but loved learning. And anything remotely boring to me deserved my contempt.

I basically realized it was Veteran's Day because of this: doing a Veteran's Day themed thing, one that was actually true. And doubtless my younger self, in the situation of one of those kids, would have exclaimed, "That was IT? You wasted our whole day, disrupted class, prevented us from doing something constructive for some lame metaphor?" Even now, my reaction to the story was, "That is the stupidest thing I have read in a long damn time." The metaphor is lamer than a no-legged horse, forced, and a propaganda stunt to boot.

But don't get me wrong. I understand and appreciate that veterans are responsible for keeping us from being conquered by Germany, Japan, or Russia. But instead of some stupid holiday full of platitudes, boring memorials, and lame shit, why don't we celebrate and thank veterans by increasing their health (and other) benefits, pulling out of Iraq, and no longer going on stupid, pointless wars? Why don't we celebrate and thank veterans by spreading peace and brotherhood among all humans so we can one day dismantle ALL military forces and end war forever? I think that would be a lot more appreciated than some trumpets and gunshots in a cemetery.

Crossposted from

You can never be too cynical when it comes to scams.

This is an excellent article. "5 internet life lessons parents need to start teaching kids." I especially like their advice that you can never be too cynical when it comes to scams. Something I take to heart. I even once ignored a person who may or may not have been a scammer in real life, once. It was at WinCo, a grocery store, a couple months ago; this guy, sounding all desperate and stuff, told me he needed some food right away and his food stamps wouldn't activate for another few days. He asked me to buy him some things and he would pay me back. My thoughts were these: "*Tries to process data* This makes no sense. If he has money to pay me with now, why not just spend it himself? If he is telling the truth and will pay me back later, I'm supposed to wait how long, exactly, and give this stranger my contact info? I don't even like loaning to friends, and I'm going to loan my food stamps benefits to this guy I don't even know? Most likely it's a scam. Even if it's not a scam, no fucking way I'm taking the risk for some random guy I don't know."

Then I flat out told him, "Sorry, not falling for your little scam" and walked off. He protested that he wasn't scamming, but better to let him think that "this is a scammer" was my one and only thought than try to explain, "Even if you're telling the truth, I'm not risking it." I do not regret my actions. If the guy really can't wait for food stamps, he can go to one of those churches that gives hungry people free food. Idiot really should know better than to do things like that in this day and age.

Crossposted from

I am an avatar of Weirdness itself, and my brain is like unto a choir of angels.

Me, pointing at something on the Internet, speaking to my brain: "See that, brain? You could not possibly come up with something weirder than that!"

My brain: "AHA! A challenger appears! *Ponders* Okay, how about this: Lieutenant Worf as an effeminate gay man in hair curlers and a dress, working as a hairdresser, saying "Today is a good day to dye!" and then going into a rendition of "I'm A Barbie Girl."

Me: " ... You win."

My brain: "HA! Damn straight I win. I can fart weirder things than that in my sleep."

It's becoming more and more clear all the time that I am an avatar of Eccentricia, Goddess of Weirdness and She Who Doth Created The Internet. Put perfectly normal stuff in, weirdness comes out. Put weirdness in, brain-breaking bizzaro-gasms of doom come out.

Crossposted from