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May 12th, 2010

Good news/bad news game

Good news: a rich person is going to give you 1 BILLION dollars.

Bad news: he wants everything you own in exchange. EVERYTHING. Every book, DVD, computer, disk, piece of clothing, toy, sex toy, gift, *everything*. (Except sensitive papers and garbage.) With no chance of buying any of it back from him. You get to keep any data on your computer, but all else will be his, and you get 1 billion dollars American in exchange.

(Whoa, deja vu all over the place!)

Me, I don't know if I could part with Buddy, Dakota Bear, and Patch Cat. It'd be like selling members of my family. Well, the ones I like anyway (I wouldn't mind selling Aunt Barb or Uncle Butch, if only twere legal).

ICARRS operating system

      You think Windows is bad, just you wait until you have to work with ICARRS, the operating system of TNG-and-later computers.

      "ICARRS technical support, this is Xorblox speaking."
      "Yes, this is Captain Gadrak of the USS Picard, and we have a problem."
      "What problem are you having?"
      "Well, an alien virus has turned our ship's computer into a sentient killing machine, and we can't stop it."
      "Have you tried rebooting?"
      "Yes, but it wouldn't let us. Every time we have the slightest problem with our computers, everything freezes up. Conn won't respond, command functions are locked out, nobody can get any of the computer's functions to respond, and there doesn't seem to be an off switch or way to kill the power. Not to mention every time we get attacked, the panels explode in a shower of sparks. But anyway, we thought it was just another one of those 'computer won't respond' events, at least until it started quoting Machiavelli and destroying passing freighters. And now it's on a course towards Earth, bent on conquering the Federation in a rain of fire. What do we do?"
      *Sigh* "Have you tried switching to manual controls?"
      "Yes. The computer rerouted to compensate."
      "I see. Have you tried shorting it out with an EPS conduit?"
      "Yes. Three of my crew died and 14 were seriously wounded as a result."
      "Well, you have communications. What about rerouting communications in some convoluted way to make a makeshift control panel, sending a forced reboot command to the computer?"
      "The computer stops us every time we try. Even distracting it doesn't help."
      "Have you tried giving it an unsolveable logic problem to burn itself out trying to solve?"
      "Yes. Our best attempts just make it laugh and call us 'foolish pathetic mortals'."
      "Hmm... can you get to the actual physical computer banks and phaser them?"
      "The computer has been using the replicators to make mobile defense units. I lost 23 of my best people trying to get in there. We can't get to materials to make our own robots. That avenue is useless. We even tried throwing bombs in there, but the computer stopped those, too."
      "Do you have access to any system that might be repurposed to regain control?"
      "No. Listen, Xorblox, even the life support is off. We're all running around in EVA suits and we're running out of air. Self-destruct is a no-go. We can't get to Engineering to phaser the warp core. We've been trying to cut through the airlocks to try to get to something from the outside, but we're having no luck. We're out of options. It doesn't seem we're going to be one of the lucky ones, unless you can help us."
      " ...
      ...
      Welll... how about Q?"
      "WHAT? You want us to summon Q? Are you insane?"
      "Well it's either that or pull something out of your ass at the last minute, I'm afraid. I can assist you with that, by reading you a list of half-assed metaphors that might inspire a solution by free-association."
      "WHAT!?!? That's all you can do? You give us these piece of shit computers that lock up and explode on the best of days, and the best you can come up with to solve a problem with a murderous computer is either summon a being that's next of kin to chaos, or half-assed metaphors?"
      "They're very *good* half-assed metaphors."
      "IF I SURVIVE THIS, BY GOD, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU BASTARDS AND PUT *YOU* AT THE MERCY OF AN INSANE COMPUTER!!! I HOPE YOU DIE IN A NUCLEAR FIRE!"
      *Starfleet logo*

Tea poll

Poll #1563609 Tea poll

Do you like tea?

Yes
122(86.5%)
No
18(12.8%)
Never had tea
1(0.7%)

What country do you live in?

How often do you drink tea?

Regularly
45(31.9%)
Often
27(19.1%)
Occasionally
50(35.5%)
Rarely
8(5.7%)
Never
11(7.8%)

Hot or cold?

Hot
53(37.9%)
Cold
10(7.1%)
Both
66(47.1%)
Neither
11(7.9%)

Do you ever drink decaf tea?

Always
14(10.2%)
Occasionally
38(27.7%)
Rarely
31(22.6%)
Never
54(39.4%)

Which do you prefer?

Tea bags
64(51.2%)
Loose tea in tea ball
10(8.0%)
Loose tea loose in water
5(4.0%)
Instant tea (poll author shudders)
3(2.4%)

Ever had the pyramid-shaped tea bags?

Yes, and I like them
46(37.4%)
Yes, and I didn't like them
7(5.7%)
No, but I'd like to try
51(41.5%)
No, and I don't want to try them
17(13.8%)

Do you like cold tea with sugar/sweetener?

Yes
82(60.3%)
No
26(19.1%)
Never had sweet cold tea
8(5.9%)
I don't like cold tea
20(14.7%)

Which do you prefer?

Cold tea with sugar/sweetener
75(56.0%)
Cold tea without sugar/sweetener
25(18.7%)
I don't like cold tea
34(25.4%)

Ever had sun tea?

Yes, and I like it
40(29.0%)
Yes, and I didn't like it
11(8.0%)
No
29(21.0%)
What's sun tea?
58(42.0%)

Do you like sugar/sweetener in HOT tea?

Yes
87(63.0%)
No
36(26.1%)
Never had sweet hot tea
2(1.4%)
I don't like hot tea
13(9.4%)

(Hot tea) Which do you prefer?

Hot tea with sugar/sweetener
76(55.9%)
Hot tea without sugar/sweetener
46(33.8%)
I don't like hot tea
14(10.3%)

Ever bought any of these brands?

Lipton
20(16.4%)
Tazo
1(0.8%)
Stash
1(0.8%)
Bigelow
0(0.0%)
Twinings
4(3.3%)
Townshend's
0(0.0%)
Good Earth Teas
0(0.0%)
Celestial Seasonings
2(1.6%)

Any brands not mentioned above?

(Hot tea) What kinds of tea do you like?

Black tea
2(1.7%)
Black/Orange pekoe
1(0.9%)
Green tea
1(0.9%)
White tea
1(0.9%)
Darjeeling
0(0.0%)
Irish Breakfast
0(0.0%)
English Breakfast
0(0.0%)
Earl Grey
1(0.9%)
Oolong
0(0.0%)
Other (please comment)
11(9.4%)

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