April 29th, 2010

cognitive hazard


Reading a story with a scene in it wherein Main Character is working at an independant coffee shop, and Annoying Customer is trying to order like she's in a Starbucks. If I were in her position, I'd be sorely tempted to say, "This isn't a Starbucks, ma'am, so we don't use their pretentious bullshit size names. A large is a large, a small is a small. Surely you've been to fast food joints, so this shouldn't be too difficult a concept for you to grasp."

Personally, while coffee shops tend to make nice places to use the internet or read, I think anything other than regular coffee is pretentious fake-hipster bullshit. On the rare occasion I drink coffee, I take it black. No sugar, no cream, nothing. Same with tea. The only exception was this one place where the coffee was so damn strong that I had to put creamer in it to make it drinkable; and it was STILL too strong. Certainly none of this latte or cappucino crap. I has a sip of a latte once; it was the most vile thing I've ever had in my mouth, including vomit.

I wish I could work at a place like Coffee Of Doom or the soup-nazi's place, and be able to talk to customers without having to be politik.