April 25th, 2010

Steph laugh


Consider homeopathy for a moment. By the laws of homeopathy, diluting the tiniest bit of something in a shitton of water somehow miraculously increases the power of that substance. For example, a joke I heard about homeopathy was "a tiny fraction of explosive diluted in water made the explosive N times stronger".

Considering all that, I realized that if you really stop to think about it, homeopathists better hope that they are wrong. Why? Well... because if they're right, whenever they drink any kind of water, no matter how pure, well... that water has had sewage, toxic chemicals, etc in it. By the laws of homeopathy, raw sewage would actually be better for you than purified and diluted water. In fact, the more purified/diluted it is, the worse it would be for you. By this logic, you can tell that homeopathy is bunk, because if it were real... there would be no life on Earth. It would have killed itself from toxic shock millennia ago. Maybe even before it really got started.

Punny joke

There were these islanders who worshiped ever-living dolphins and hoped they would be conferred immortality by sacrificing baby seagulls to them. They ran out of birds on that side of the island, though, so they went to the other side of the island to get some more.

Coming back, they found the way blocked by two regal lions who were sound asleep. Knowing the dolphins were waiting for the sacrifice, they tiptoed up and stepped over the lions, whereupon they were immediately arrested and charged with transporting young gulls over stately lions for immortal porpoises.