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March 2nd, 2010

Well, I applied for social security disability today. Good gods, it was a hell of a lot easier to do than I thought it would be. Thought I'd be in there for hours waiting and hours more filling out tedious forms, but no... 5 minutes after I got a number, I got called up. She asked me questions, I answered, she put the answers in the computer. If I'd known it was going to be that easy, I would have gone in months ago. The dread of how awful it was going to be kept me away for so long.

Of course, I still have the proper interview thingy March 19th. And at some point a shrink will be involved. But the biggest step for me is out of the way.

It actually took me longer to find the place than it did to actually be in the building. Strangest thing was, I was looking for the transition housing place first and was following the wrong instructions, found the social security office while looking for the other place.

The transition housing place was another story altogether. Took me forever to find it. When I found it at last, I took one look at it and said, "No. No no no no no no NO!" and turned right back around. The place is an absolute shithole, and there were several dozen homeless people hanging around outside, and even more inside. I doubt I could get any help there, and even if I could I am *not* going into that hole in the wall. Just, no. No no no no no. Not ready for that step, doubt I ever will be. Even after telling myself "Beggars can't be choosers," I still couldn't face it. In fact, I'd been walking so long by that point that I was too tired to continue anyway.

Besides, I remembered today that there's this hotel by Sandy that's $100 a week. If all else fails, I can stay there until I can find something better. All I would need is to find a place for most of my stuff in the interim, I doubt that hotel place has room for most of it.

I think tomorrow I am going to go to this one low income place before going to Brooke's, and ask them if there are any openings. And I hope to get to Brooke's early so I can make some phone calls.

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