November 2nd, 2009

Steph angry

Well that sucks

Took the day off from group therapy today to go to this charity place to get some free clothes. Got there and discovered that, despite having been open just a couple weeks ago, they are now out of business. Crap. I could really have used some more clothes; I have barely more clothes now than I did when I first moved here a few years ago.

Not one to waste a trip, and since I was going to go there as well anyway, I stopped off at WinCo. Good thing I didn't need a lot from there, because I forgot to take the wheeled cart with me this time and so had to haul it all the way home like a pack mule. What stuff I *did* have was just a little more than I could comfortably carry, and so the entire walk back sucked. To make matters worse, I had the brilliant idea of going back the way I came (back towards and then along Glisan) rather than going along Halsey, which would have been faster. There were two reasons I made that silly, later-regretted decision: first, there is a section of Halsey with no sidewalks at all. Second, the bridge connecting to Halsey is twisty, very high up, and scarier than the Glisan one. So yeah, went out of my way because I have a problem with heights. I'd estimate I must have walked 5 or 6 miles today.
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Steph angry

Anxiety

I've been extremely anxious for the last four or so hours, and I have no fucking idea why. I was fine earlier, during my walk. Attempts to calm it down work only a little bit.

You know, I'm really beginning to regret having gone to the ER for my depression. Sure, I got Prozac, but the ER doctor pointed out my anxiety to me. So have the therapists at the group therapy thing. I was almost never aware of my anxiety before that; now I'm aware of it more often than not. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck!