May 6th, 2009

mourning

A little bird told you...

  • 20:28 Can't read? Want to learn? Then write a letter to The Olson Twins Reading Foundation, 666 Bukakke Road; Hades, IA 50666 #memebomb #
  • 20:29 Saw a light blue bird with a grey stripe on its back and a whitish belly today. Third one I've seen in 3 days. Wish I knew what kind it is. #
  • 20:33 The joy of being a writer, I can justify words like "awesomeocity" and "job-havingness." It's my perogative! #
  • 20:44 @musesrealm Maybe they were secretly recording and filing your presense there. #
  • 20:46 RT: @HopefulNebula: You know what? From now on, I'm not going to call Jenny McCarthy by her name. She will from now on be Antivax Barbie. #
  • 21:01 Jenny McCarthy's son NEVER had autism. She's an idiot and a conspiracy theorist. There is nothing wrong with vaccines. #jennymccarthy #
  • 21:05 @paper_hand Can I have an invite code? #
  • 21:06 @beautifulpyre Coporal Malaise filling in for General Malaise, SIR! *Salutes* #
  • 21:11 @paper_hand S&M exams? Sounds like my kind of exam! #
  • 21:16 @paper_hand Well that would make sense given who his mother is. Gods, how anyone can think she has 2 brain cells to rub together... #
  • 21:18 I like how Dreamwidth, on their "gender" question, has "other" and "prefer not to say." #
  • 21:42 @paper_hand Probably something like this: bit.ly/DpzCK #
  • 23:23 I have this Irish song going through my head: bit.ly/3x77jW
    "Molly Malone." #
  • 23:58 Heathcliff Twitters: bit.ly/19pOVY #
  • 00:01 Amazing how much faster the PC gets when not bogged down with Yahoo Instant Messenger. I wish that program was lighter. #
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ahh!

Oh my Gods!

Oy vey... I just got a pun that I must have heard 1000 times before without getting. It's from "Zombie Prostitute" by Voltaire. Emphasis on the pun is mine:

Now I'm fallin' apart from my head down to my toes, I don't know
Which of my organs is the next to go
I've been such a sleaze since she gave me the disease
Wouldn't you know, now I'm a Zombie Gigolo
I took my first client on a date
We took a walk to the cemetery gate
I got under her slip, but then, I heard a rip
I pulled it out, and I said..."baby, keep the tip"


*Groans*
yoga girl

Story troubles

I'm having some trouble on my "Carbon And Silicon" story. That problem is, I can't make any forward momentum on it. Well, not entirely true... I made an outline of the things I wanted to happen in the story and came up with some great ideas. On my way back home I was thinking about what my problem with the story itself is, and I have identified two distinct problems:

1. The Zedaleph race is so vastly different in certain ways from humans that I just don't know how to work within their limitations:
      First, they're not an organic race, they're a machine race.
      Secondly, they live on another planet and until the events of this story have never met a sentient organic lifeform for the millions of years they've been around. And as a result of their "replication," they have no sex and no gender. I don't know how to write this... at least in my Traipah stories, the Ah'Koi Bahnis - who are hermaphrodites - are organic and have sexual reproduction and they have gender, too (a much more flexible kind than human gender). But this? A sexless, genderless race who manufacture their children... I don't know how to write it. More specifically, it makes character relationships harder to figure out. Even with something that vaguely resembles sex (the "intimacy node"), it's proving difficult.
      Third, they don't reproduce, they replicate - which is essentially a fancy term, in their case, for "they manufacture their children." As a result of this, they have no parents - they are raised by groups of clergy in a system that resembles a boarding school in some ways and an orphanage in others, but there's nothing I know of amongst humans that really compares.

2. I don't think 1st person perspective is working for this story. And I think it's my narrator's fault. I mean, granted, I rarely write in first person, but I had a number of reasons why I decided to write this one in 1st person. Those reasons remain valid, but Fiomi, the main character and narrator, is - so far - kind of dull. Fiomi is friendly enough, and is a nice person, but I don't know about his narration skills. He starts out the first several pages describing the Zedaleph race, his birth, and then wanders off into Zedaleph social issues, not stopping until I nudged him to write something more interesting. But he's still talking about his past. It's all very interesting and relevant, but there's something off about it. I can't quite put my finger on it.

I suppose it might be this impatience I have long had a problem with, in being too keen on moving the story along and not going with the present moment, not enjoying the process. I had to really struggle with that even in my Traipah novels.

But then again... I don't think that's the only problem. I'm not sure what's wrong, but something is wrong with Fiomi's narration. That, and I'm not so sure the story really fits 1st person narration. I think I can achieve the goals I set out for this piece with my usual "3rd person omniscient selective." I considered the possibility that I just suck at 1st person, but I *did* once write a short story in 1st person that was AWESOME. The story was "Channeling Icarus," and the main character/narrator was Lord something-or-other (I can't recall his name right now), a scientist on the world named Orion. The story was fantasy, and Lord what's-his-face's culture was akin to 17th or 18th century Britain or early colonial America - physically and in dress I had him as vaguely similar to Ben Franklin - and he studies lots of things, but his passion of the time of the story was demonology. As in scientifically studying REAL demons. Now, he was a bit wordy and long-winded and used (naturally) an archaic manner of speech, so in that case, 1st person was *perfect* for his character and for the story. I don't think it would have worked from any other perspective.
Also, I made another fantasy story once that takes place in the same universe as the one above, only on Earth instead of Orion, and the first version of the story was 3rd person omniscient selective. The first version sucked. The second version was written in 1st person, the Damon Johnson (Johnston?) character narrating. That version was awesome! So I know I can do 1st person when it suits the story. I just don't think 1st person suits "Carbon and Silicon." At least, not with Fiomi narrating. And I can't think of anyone else to narrate it. So I might just switch over to 3rd person omniscient selective, like I usually write in.

But if there's anyone out there who would like to read what I have so far and offer their opinion of it first, I'd love to let you do so. You can email me = fayanora at yahoo dot com