March 12th, 2009

Steph bouncy

Crack bread

There is this bread, a kind that's fresh-baked in the store. I think it might be some sort of Italian bread, I dunno. But it's thin-sliced, tends to have air holes in it, and makes the best toast in the universe. How good of toast does it make? Well, I normally only eat toast once in a blue moon, but whenever this bread is in the house, I have toast every day until it's gone, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. This bread is like crack to me. So much so that when I saw it was running low I tried to find some at the nearby FredMeyer's. All I could find was this asiago cheese bread, which is okay, but it's not crackbread (as I call it).

Crackbread comes into the house via Lilla and/or her mom. I don't know where they get it, but I think I should keep that knowledge a secret from myself or I might just end up a crackbread addict, selling my posessions to feed my addiction until I end up whoring myself for crackbread money and taking my little toaster around to any place with electricity, stealing those little packets of butter or margarine from Panera. Then I'll have a bad episode of nearly ODing on crackbread after having a fight with a homeless man over a tub of margarine and have to go to Toast Rehab and then Toast Eaters Anonymous.

("Crackbread comes in a little clear bag."
"A little clear bag?"
"A little clear bag!"
"And this little clear bag goes into the box like a battery."
"Huh huh."
"And the crackbread box goes somewhere against your anatomy...")
  • Current Music
    "I Don't Like The Drugs But The Drugs Like Me" by Marilyn Manson
  • Tags