September 16th, 2008

mourning

Scare tactics

A joke that proves that the right words can convince you anything is bad:

Bread Facts

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations. 

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 

5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days. 

6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts. 

7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. 

8. Newborn babies can choke on bread. 

9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. 

10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

mourning

Do me a favor?

Please? I want some more icons for svaenohr. Would you please go over there, take a look at the ones we have already, and the style of that LJ, and suggest some icons (or pictures I can iconize myself) that might be a good fit?