May 31st, 2008

weirderons

Here's how to measure Weirderons.

Here's how to measure weirderons:

Zero Fay: Not weird at all. (Negative Fays would be measuring Normalons and be in units of X number of Dursleys.)
10 Fays: Mildly unusual.
20 Fays: Noticeably unusual.
30 Fays: A funny misread or misheard word.
50 Fays: Gets a chuckle from some, looks of fear from others.
100 Fays: Extreme silliness and irreverancy. At this level, weirderons become toxic and/or have mutagenic effects on Normal people. (Not to be confused with normal people.)
200 Fays: Conspiracy theories begin to make sense, and/or you believe things that most others would think were bizarre.
400 Fays: Your brain becomes an incubation chamber for the mondo bizarre; ideas that were once normal begin to mutate and interbreed, creating unique species of ideas never before seen.
500 Fays: Fayanora-level weird. The activity at 400 Fays is on hyper-speed, and ideas begin mutating before they even enter your brain. Thoughts breed at speeds that would make a supercomputer do a double-take. This memetic evolution becomes so excited that crazy yet awesome ideas seem to spawn from nowhere. The question "Where the hell did THAT thought come from?" becomes a common utterance. This activity increases ten-fold if you're capable of thinking about myriad things at once.
1000 Fays: Michael Jackson-level weird.
5000 Fays: Vivid hallucinations, extreme paranoia, insanity.
9000 Fays: This is the level at which you might take to a hobby like sewing... using human skin as material.
10,000 Fays: Lethal even to weird people.
1,000,000 Fays: The universe would either explode, implode, or turn into a bowl of petunias.