March 19th, 2008

mourning

This sounds almost like a YOGAP article

But it is real:

Amendment would have saved plumber pants

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (UPI) -- A pair of Florida state senators briefly attempted to amend a bill barring students from wearing baggy pants to create an exception for plumbing students.

Sens. Dave Aronberg, D-27th District, and Carey Baker, R-20th District, submitted an amendment to the bill sponsored by Sen. Gary Siplin, D-19th District, that would exempt plumbing students from rules barring students from wearing their pants too low, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Wednesday.

"For some, it's a sign of quality … a good housekeeping seal of approval. For some others it's a sign of a job well done," Aronberg said. "This only opens the door just a little crack."

Baker added that wearing tight pants could be a health issue for plumbers that could lead to "gastro-intestinal distress, hypertension and even stroke."

The amendment was withdrawn.


Copyright 2008 by United Press International
http://www.arcamax.com/weirdnews/comments?si=316803
mourning

A constructed language y'all should enjoy!

I am working on the language of Jibberesh, and when it's got enough on it, I will add the page to my website. For now, enjoy this taste of it...

English = Hi! my name is Fay, and I am fun. I love to eat in the kitchen. Where is the bathroom? I have to poop.
What is this? Is it their's? I think it is a cat, and it is theirs. Cats have nine lives.

Jibberesh = Wangham! Oingo twerkle honk Fay, eh oing nonk twingy. Oing hashbatter queek snurfo yep urb fwag. Dunk honk urb scrogglybok? Oing elmoe queek gwarf.
Plunk honk kwad? Honk nong noingo? Oing krag nong honk ock schroed, eh nong honk noingo. Schroedeek blurb nigh tackleek.

This SERIOUSLY has a real grammar and vocabulary and so on. In fact, the only difference between English and Jibberesh is the words. Also, as it is a work in progress, feel free to give me things to translate. Especially very serious things, like some serious quotes by old fuddy-duddies, I want to hear their words in Jibberesh!

Logjambo, pish hashbatter eh wingbat queek boing! (Goodbye, with love and peace to you!)
Djao'Kain

Oh. My. FUCKING. Goddess!

I WANT BARACK OBAMA AS PRESIDENT! This guy is BEYOND awesome!

There's this link going around to a transcript of a speech Barack Obama gave. Now, online I am a scanner... I rarely read all of everything if it's longer than a few sentences, I scan. I may scan several times, but I generally will not read all of anything online. You have a long post and you're a friend of mine? I'll scan it, friend or not. If I deem it worth replying to, I will copy the whole thing and address certain points and - that way - end up reading the whole thing. But I generally only scan. This is partly because reading on the computer hurts my eyes if I do more than scan, and partly because my attention wanders.

However... though this speech is several pages long, I read the entire thing straight through without scanning. I can't even remember the last time I read something that long on the computer, straight through, no scanning. It was THAT awesome. My attention was sucked in like [I will refrain from making the obvious pun*] an ant in a whirlpool.

After 8 years of being brain-starved by the empty-headed "Decider" with the IQ of a cup of wombat juice, now reading Barack's speech, I feel the intellectual equivalent of a man living off of a diet of anemic lichens for 8 years suddenly being given a 14-course meal rich enough to give a normally-"fed" person brain gout just by being in the same room as it. Oh gods, I "ate" that speech too fast, I think my brain is going to puke.

Seriously, though: this guy had better be our next President. I am going to pray to whoever I need to in order to get this guy elected, and sic Loki, Satan, and other tricksters on McCain. And sic Loki on Hilary. But whether he does or not, this guy is going to go down in history with the greats like Roosevelt, Franklin, and Martin Luther King Junior.

* = free Goth Cookies to anyone who guesses what The Obvious Pun is!