March 11th, 2008


Experts prepare for lunar 'Doomsday Ark'

Experts prepare for lunar 'Doomsday Ark'

STRASBOURG, France (UPI) -- Plans are being made for the installation of an information storage bank on the moon, experts said at a science meeting Strasbourg, France.

The so-called "Doomsday ark" would provide the tools for the reconstruction of the human race in case civilization is ever destroyed, The Sunday London Times reported.

The ark's basic version, which would be buried close to the moon's surface, would include hard discs containing DNA information and instructions for growing crops and metal making, the report said.

The underground vault reportedly would transmit data to strongly guarded receivers on Earth.

"Eventually, it will be necessary to have a kind of Noah's ark there, a diversity of species from the biosphere," scientist Bernard Foing said.

The first ark, which would have a 30-year lifespan, is expected to be installed on the moon by 2020 at the latest. The completed archive should be ready by 2035, scientists said.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

This news arrived on: 03/09/2008

My reply:

Dear Ancestors,

We found your note, explaining how you're responsible for the situation we're in now. Little Suzy has four arms and a tentacle, and I can make a sound like a tuba from my armpits, but my nose is horribly close to my rectum. Thank you very much, idiots. It's good to know we descended from a violent race of morons. Makes us humble.

Then we found your other note, saying "In case of emergency, we left instructions for you on the moon." Gee thanks, that's incredibly useful. Did you happen to leave directions to the nearest spaceport? Honestly, are we related to you? I certainly hope not.

Ancestors: You suck. We're glad you're dead. No, we will NOT worship you. There's a sack of mule dung over there, we're going to go worship that instead.

---Your radioactive descendants