August 6th, 2007

mourning

A Papal Decree

By the power of Shao'Kehn, Multi-armed Goddess of Ass-Reamings and Chaos, Creatress of the State of Confusion (Oregon), I hereby plop out the following Papal Decree:

Hear Me! Hear Me! By the ORESOME power invested in me by Shao'Kehn (33,000 shares at $200,000 each) I hereby decree that anyone who works for Livejournal or SixApart is hereby EXCOMMUNICATED FROM ALL OF HUMANITY! This means they are BANNED from all Human Afterlives, except for Hell and Macarena. They can either go to one of those two, sit outside the Gates for all eternity, or hope that some Alien Afterlife will take them in. But any and all human-imagined Afterlives they are banned from (except Hell and Macarena).

Furthermore, any LiveJournal/SixApart employees who thought up, had anything to do with the enactment of, or agreed with (at any point) the policies that have caused so many innocent people to be suspended or kicked off of LJ and the policies that have made it possible to hide the extent of this abhorrent activity from the public, will have no choice but to be tossed into Hell where a Giant with a cock the size of a city bus will butt-fuck them with rusty razor blades for an eternity.

In short, FUCK YOU, LIVEJOURNAL AND SIXAPART!

May your asshole seal up and make you die from being unable to poop!

MAY YOUR MOUTH BE MAGNETICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOUR ASSHOLE RESULTING IN CHOKING TO DEATH ON YOUR OWN DUNG!

MAY COCKROACHES BURROW UNDER YOUR SKIN AND LAY BILLIONS OF THEIR EGGS IN YOUR PANCREAS AND SPLEEN!

May rats nibble your toes off in the middle of the night!

MAY METEORITES VIOLENTLY RAPE YOUR EVERY ORIFICE!

MAY YOUR BRAIN QUIT IN DISGUST AND COME BACK WITH AN OOZY AND KILL ALL THE OTHER ORGANS IN YOUR BODY!

And last but not least: MAY YOUR CHILDREN ALL GROW UP TO BE EXACTLY LIKE THE PEOPLE YOU ARE SO INTENT ON BANNING!
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off