February 11th, 2005

mourning

Noticed some mistakes in my novel

I noticed a few mistakes in my novel, "I'll Tell You No Lies," that might be too late to fix, unless it's possible to fix them when I get my galleys back (which is taking FOREVER by the way). The most major mistake in the book is that Nokwahl and Samantha Dryson are the only two main characters whose ages are mentioned in the book. Some of the minor characters I forgot to give ages to, as well.

In case that mistake stays, here are the ages of the other characters, as of 3231 AD (the time of the novel)=

Alex Davison = 30 years old
Ahmed Jackson = 48
Thomas Jettison = 27

The second and last mistake (that I know of) is that Nokwahl is stated in the novel as being seven years old when she entered the Shao'Bahn order, but a piece that takes place before that time has her at age nine, and she isn't in the Order there. And now I doubt I'll be able to correct that mistake.
I think the reason for all the mistakes is that I skipped around in time a lot, to add crucial data to Nokwahl's character. It was confusing and I suppose now that I should've examined it more carefully for mistakes before sending it in for the second time.

My second novel, "One Hundred Year Wait," isn't as likely to have as many mistakes, as it essentially goes in a straight line through time. There is some jumping to show things that are happening at the same time as other events, but it basically goes straight.
I noticed the same mistake of forgetting ages in 100yrwt, but I've already corrected the oversight. :-D

I hate to pick favorites, but even though "I'll Tell You No Lies" (ITYNL's) is cool and good, it is nothing compared to "One Hundred Year Wait." 100yrwt is fast-paced, exciting, suspenseful, and much more of an adventure tale than a mystery. However, I have started Nokwahl trying to figure out the mystery. I am really enjoying writing this one, even more so than ITYNL's. :-)

Chaotic Blessings;
---Fay
mourning

The Big Flop 3

This is a poem that I love so much, but add to at times. Dunno if I've posted this version here yet or not, but it's worth a re-post.

"The Big Flop 3"
By Tristan A. Arts

I'm filled with righteous indignation,
At this country's Media masturbation!
They find a story that's barely been through its birth
And milk it for a billion times more than it's worth!
The Media Dogs beg for a delicious treat
Then stroke back and forth on the same piece of meat
Until they cum all over the place,
      "Is that cum I see on the President's face?"

When you can see someone shooting bullets into a school hall,
Reality TV is just one step up from Media's gall.
Nothing is sacred! Leave no stone unturned!
It isn't good enough if a single stomach is left un-churned!
The Media Circus is coming to town,
Don't let a good story idea get turned down!
      There's one born every minute, and they all work for us,
      Slimy little dipshits oozing out puss!


News is no longer informative; it's entertainment for the masses,
Because the Media can't pull their heads out of their asses!
They exaggerate like hell; they'd make it up if they could,
Barnum and Bailey never had it so good!
Show us the Bearded Lady and the Freak Show they will,
If the News doesn't cover it, Jerry Springer sure as heck will!
      "Come one, come all, it's the worst show in the world!
      The rape and murder of a little girl!
      We've got the whole thing on video, see it first right here!
      Nothing is censored! See the little girl fear!"


Sickening shit all over the screen,
Every day a new person will scream;
Sex and violence on the six o'clock news show,
But the Religious Right doesn't ever say so!
Video games are nothing compared to Connie Chung,
The whole of Media stinks like dung!
Thousands of missing children minority born
Never get the news coverage of one white girl forlorn,
For every white kid saved by Media's gaze,
A thousand minority kids see the end of their days!
      "Desensitization in progress, oh fucking hell,
      Dip deeper into the Shocking Well!
      If it doesn't make people puke it ain't worth the news!
      How about these AIDS needles poking people in pews?
      Scare them to death and they'll come back for more,
      Make them beg for their mommies while curled up on the floor!"


The Ringmaster of this Media Circus will scare you to tears
By feeding you shit that feeds off your fears;
Until you can witness a murder before your true eyes,
And not even do so much as blink in surprise!
      "Let our memetisuppressants do the thinking for you,
      We'll take out your brain and get one that's brand-new,
      It'll have planned obsolescence, and fail one day,
      But do you really need a brain in your head anyway?"


Media is an entity that only cares about money,
So they feed you feces that tastes like honey;
You're chained to your seat and locked up tight,
So they can control you all day and all night;
      "You will enjoy yourself, if you know what's best,
      We'll entertain you 24/7, you'll never get rest!"
Yes, welcome to The Big Flop! Watch the Media clowns in their car!
We must fight back against this shock-value war.