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Chicken slurry

Another tale from last month, when I was in survival mode most of the month:

Last month, I made some of that chicken "burger" slurry the food boxes gives me sometimes, but in the slow cooker instead of the skillet, thinking that because slow cooked hamburger tasted great, that chicken slurry cooked the same way would as well.

Spoiler alert: it did not. Chicken burger is only edible when cooked on a skillet first, to give it a burger-like texture, mostly from cooking the moisture out of it, I think. Cook it in the slow cooker, though, and the only difference in texture and appearance between raw chicken slurry and slow-cooked chicken slurry is that raw chicken slurry is this red, watery paste similar to the "pink slime" of McDonald's, but red; cooked, however, it is the same, except faintly pink. I wasn't sure at first it was even cooked, despite it having been cooking for six hours. I put it on high for another three hours, and the color was the same. It was, literally, just boiling chicken slurry. Slightly more firm than when raw, but basically imagine eating it raw and you have an idea what it's like when it's been slow cooked. (Pauses to wait for the gagging and retching sounds to stop.)

Just looking at it was horrifying. Over the course of several weeks, I choked down maybe half of it, and only because I did some experiments to try to make it more edible. First experiment was mixing salsa and taco sauce into it. That only made it marginally more edible, like dipping turds in mustard before chowing down on them.

Second experiment, I mixed some of it with mustard and ketchup to make something resembling sloppy joe mix. That was a slight improvement again, but it was still barely edible. I didn't make much of that, because my hopes were not high, maybe made enough for three sandwiches. Had two sandwiches of the stuff over two days and couldn't choke down any more of it.

I gave up at that point, and froze the rest, thinking "gods that was horrifying, but at least it kept me fed for a while. Let's keep it around in case this happens again, assuming that doing so doesn't make me want to drown myself to avoid having to eat it again."

This was cross-posted from https://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1439556.html
You can comment either here or there.

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