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I've never really understood this whole "masculinity = fierce" thing. You know, the strong, fierce, scary warrior type? Because:

A. My masculine side, growing up and now, was always the meek and gentle side. (Even Alex, who has a strong masculine aura about him and a lot of anger and aggressiveness, is the way he is because he's gentle and sensitive at heart and everything wounds him, and he can only deal with it by vacillating between anger and apathy. Though he's improving. And Ian, the only other boy in the collective, is so shy and sensitive and fragile that he never comes out of hiding anymore.) It's my feminine side that's fierce, strong, and occasionally terrifying.

B. My main deity is a Goddess of Chaos, and at least two others in the system identify as avatars of Her. While She does have Her softer side, I am empowered by Her fierce, terrifying side. Djao'Kain, in Her fierce and terrifying side, could face any masculine warrior type and make him shit himself in terror, even before She started turning him inside out and showing him his own beating heart, with Her eyes like amber lanterns, Her many arms (with clawed fingers) wielding many weapons, the look in Her eye challenging people to try to hurt Her or the ones She loves, and Her Chaos Fire.

I get a thrill of power when I access one of Her even fiercer Aspects, like Shao'MaHK, covered in blood and grinning like a madwoman, fire roaring out of control behind Her.

Yeah, you can keep your masculinity, thanks.

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1313760.html
You can comment either here or there.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Apr. 21st, 2017 02:41 pm (UTC)

My boyfriend, Sean “Mixingk” and I are both sensitive in nature. He has a habit, though, of hiding his feelings in times of when the anniversary of his mom’s passing away occurs in April. Ultimately, I can see directly through this, even though he may not think that nothing’s bothering him whatsoever. Ultimately, he can’t get anything behind me whatsoever.
The same is with me. Sean can tell when something is bothering me. Try as hard as I can to hide the pain, it doesn’t work. That’s why we’re so perfect for one another. We team up to compliment one another. We’re always there for one another, no matter what either of us may be going through in our own circumstances.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )


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