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BOGEF

On Tumblr, I added a comment to a post about neo-pantheons by mentioning my own, and someone said something that prompted me to give a reply I feel is worth repeating here.

Their bit:

that’s sort of what i’ve done with mine, i created two deities for a story of mine and i feel really connected to them. though i’d have to worship them quite differently to how their followers in the story do, as theres a lot of sacrifice and not-very-nice things done in their names. still, it’d be interesting to try.

have your deities shown many signs of their existence? and if you don’t mind me asking do you have any tips on staying sure of your path and not doubting your deities and stuff? that’s my problem at the moment i think.


My response:

Yes, actually, they have. At least, my main one has. Djao’Kain [ʒaʊ-keɪn] is Xer name, and I have at least one friend who has had conversations with Xer in their own mind. (I specify that because anyone who talks to me can have Djao’Kain talk with them through me.) Also, the same friend told me once about a time when she read about something going on in Iraq during the most recent war there, I don’t remember what exactly, but it prompted her to ask Djao’Kain to deal with the situation non-violently, and the next day there was this humongous sandstorm in the area, disrupting whatever it was she asked that favor for. It’s just the sort of thing Djao’Kain would do, too, being a chaos Deity.

As to your other questions, it helps that Djao’Kain has left a copy of Xerself inside my brain, so I can talk to Xer whenever I please. But yeah, I do still struggle with “is Xe real or just one of my Aspects?” When I’m feeling doubtful, I generally resolve it by remembering that Xe is very useful either way, seeing as - among other things - Xe has acted like a live-in psychologist for me, and Xe once stopped me from attempting suicide. Oh yeah, and Djao’Kain has this interesting ability to know stuff about me before I do, and hint strongly at it (essentially beating it against my head for months or years until it gets through my thick skull), which is useful.

As an example, I was referring to Djao’Kain as “the Deity with Multiple Personality Order” due to Xer having a bunch of different Aspects with different personalities (yet all tied in together via a hub Aspect)* - and the Ah’Koi Bahnis people of Xer planet Traipah showed a marked tendency to be healthy Multiple systems - for YEARS before I even knew Multiple systems could be healthy, years before I knew the members of Multiple systems could coexist without memory gaps and communicate with one another without help from an outside person, and years before I realized that - DUH - the reason I was so frustrated and confused was because I was laboring under the delusion that I was a singlet.

Then, a more recent example is that from the beginning, the AKB were quite obviously on the autism spectrum compared to humans, years before I knew what autism/asperger’s was, let alone knew I had it. And I’m certain Djao’Kain was the one putting these things in. For some reason, Xe can’t tell me these things directly, can only sneak things through into my writing and other ideas, and I have to figure it out based on Xer clues. But who knows how long it would have taken me without Xer help?

Then, also, I remind myself of the evidence outlined above. And also remembering that all (or at least most) Deities began as someone’s imagining, so why should my having created Djao’Kain make Xer any less real than others? Always assuming, of course, that Djao’Kain did not simply claim me as Xer own, put the ideas about the Yahgahn faith and the planet it hails from in my head, and let me take the credit for “inventing” Xer and the others. Which, now I think on it, is totally something Xe would do.

* = Djao’Kain: Buy one Deity, get like - what’s it up to now? Seventeen? Eighteen!? - get eighteen free! | Djao’Kain: When you want a Deity that is a Russian nesting doll! | Djao’Kain: Pantheon in a box!

Which actually, looking up the exact number of Aspects for that joke made me realize I haven't posted about the latest one, and haven't even written Her into the official list yet. Hell, I had to hunt like a mofo to find the right file just to remember Her name. So, a post on that soon.

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1290434.html
You can comment either here or there.

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