The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective

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Funny names

So [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith made a post of this link about funny names on the Crazy Horse surrender ledger, and noted how some of those "obviously fake" names could be real names, given some of the givens about the cultural differences. That, mixed with memories of the weird names a lot of Puritans used to give their kids, prompted an idea that made me make this comment:

Okay, now I'm picturing a funny situation on Traipah. Bit of background: It's a common naming convention among those of the dominant culture, Yahgahn, to give kids "nest names" that they'll likely shed as adults when they pick adult names. These names tend to mean things like "Beloved" or "Third child" or various simple things. But of course, with lots of people in the world, and especially in big families, that can lead to there being like, 14 "Beloved"s in a single class at school. (Which come to think of it, means there might be a secondary convention of nicknames based on something more unique, but let's not get sidetracked.)

Anyway, my idea was that it might become popular on Traipah, after situations like that become common enough, that they might come up with more interesting nest names. Sure, at first it might be something similar to the Amerindian naming convention of things like "Wild Bull" or "The Sound of Running Water," but the funny idea I had was this:

People deciding to name their kids names that mean things like "Insert Unique Name Here," "I Couldn't Be Arsed To Think of a Better Name," "Pile of Ancient Scrolls," "The One With Purple Hair and Green Stripes," "Hopefully I Won't Disown My Mother For This Name," or others along those lines. Like, I can see the 12th kid in a large family being named "My Parents Aren't Going To Remember My Name Anyway." Or just, like, name a kid a line quoted from one's favorite book, like a kid named "It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times," or "It Was A Dark And Stormy Night."

And given how their culture doesn't have any shame regarding sex, I could see some people using names like "Wedding Night Threesome," "We Were Bored," "We Were Drunk," "Hope Xe Ends Up a Better Lover Than Xer Father," "Forgot To Pull Out," "I Don't Know Who My Daddy Is," "I Have Three Daddies," "Conceived In Bondage," "The Condom Broke," "Mommy's Best Orgasm (Was The Night I Was Conceived)," "Unbreakable Love, Breakable Condom," "Never Fuck On A Tin Roof During A Thunderstorm," "The Fastest Little Swimmer Was Me," "I Got Lucky, So Did My Dad," "The Only Good Thing To Come Out Of My Parents' Marriage," "Best Damn Hatesex Ever," or "Should've Masturbated Instead."

Other possible names: "Sounded Like A Good Idea At The Time," "I'd Better Appreciate That My Mother Went Through Twelve Months Of Hell For Me" (Ah'Koi Bahnis gestation is 12 months), "That's The Last One I'm Ever Having," or "Mommy's First C-Section."

One that would work for them if they had capitalism and certificates of deposit would be "Made A Withdrawl At The Sperm Bank, Invested It In A 250-Year CD." (AKB can live up to 250 years.)

(Also a genderless version of "My Daddy's The Mailman" could work too.)

This was cross-posted from
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Tags: concultures, funny, names, science fiction, traipah
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