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Allistic assumptions of auties

"Remember your words!" A refrain many auties (autistics) hear, especially if we resort to animals sounds. But why? Isn't it true that the highest compliment you can give someone is to say that words are insufficient to tell them how much you love them? If words are so limited, why not expand our vocabulary to include words from the languages of other animals? (And there's plenty of evidence out there to show that, yes, other animals have their own languages, and a lot of them are quite as complex as human languages.) Maybe I don't even know how to put what I'm feeling into words, so I growl or purr or hiss or whatever, you ever think of that? Of course you didn't.

I think the reason for it is that when allistics (non-autistics) lose their words, it's generally a sign that they've lost self control. But what they don't understand is that such is not necessarily true; it is an assumption, especially as regards auties. I don't know about other people, but when I use animal sounds, I am still reasonable and in control, I just don't want to waste effort trying to put into human words what I have a perfectly good animal word for. Not enough time and/or available brain RAM to waste on translating simple and effective animal speech into the most recent version of the chaos that is human language.

What's more, that assumption sometimes works in my favor. If I tell someone to back the fuck off, they'll probably still ignore it if they're a certain personality type. But growl, hiss, yowl, or bark at them, and they DO back the fuck off, usually. In this instance, the animal word for "back the fuck off" is often far more effective.

Another thing a lot of auties hear is "Quiet hands!" No. Just stop saying that. If I'm flapping my hands, I'm either too excited for words, or I'm trying to get my brain in gear. Either way, by trying to make me stop, you are being the opposite of helpful. I'm already having trouble, in that instance, with getting my brain in verbal gear, and having to add the subroutines for compliance to allistic norms is NOT going to speed up the process at all. Flapping hands is often the autistic version of a computer's processing ellipsis, so it means "Processing. Please wait." (And it's not a case of having less RAM than allistics, it's a case of having too many programs running, or the programs we have running are processing too much data. Or both.) Would you rather have some outward sign of such a processing problem, or not? (Bearing in mind of course that with no outward sign, we'd just be sitting there, unresponsive, frustrating you even more.)

So please stop assuming things that are wrong. Your assumptions just end up frustrating the both of us.

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1257002.html
You can comment either here or there.


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