The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective
fayanora

  • Mood:

I'll be glad to be shot of this phone

Phone: No, not gonna let you text Transit Tracker to find out when the bus is, not anymore; you'll have to call. All other texts, fine, but not Transit Tracker. Nope. Nobody else is having a problem with it, just you.
Phone: Oh and I'll be turning myself off for no apparent reason at random intervals.
Phone: Sometimes I'll last a week on a single charge, and other times I think I'll need recharging every 12 hours or less. I'm funny that way.
Phone: Now I'm making random annoying beeping noises on phone calls, thus making some words impossible to hear, always at the worst possible moment. Like Transit Tracker, where I will cover up the time it'll take the bus to come, so you have to call back!
Phone: I feel like just changing some of your settings at random for shits and giggles. For instance, you like the beeps the buttons make when you press them? Gonna stop doing that every now and then, just to fuck with you. Oh, and now the colors are inverted. Why? Because fuck you, that's why.
Phone: Better turn keyguard off if you intend to use the timer, or else when the timer goes off, you won't be able to stop it without power cycling me.
Phone: Every so often I'll garble the words of the person on the other side so badly that you won't have a fucking clue what they're saying. Fun, eh?
Phone: Aaaand today we start the fun I like to call "You're calling someone? Then I won't even start ringing their end for, like, a whole fucking minute." You'll just have to sit there and wait for it to start ringing.
Phone:For my next trick, I will make it impossible for the person on the other end to hear you at all, not all the time, just whenever the mood strikes. Why, you ask? Seriously, you're still asking that?
Phone: On a related note, sometimes the person on the other end sounds like they're at the bottom of a well. Or you will, to them.
Phone: Today I bring you the sound of your own voice from the earpiece whenever you talk.
Phone: What? No cell signal? Then I have fuck-all idea what the time is. You have to be up at a certain time? Pardon me while I point and laugh at your suffering. Consider this a permanent fixture.
Phone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE REPLACING ME IN APRIL? HAVEN'T I BEEN GOOD TO YOU? OH BABY I CAN CHANGE, PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE! WAAAAA!!!

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1217796.html
You can comment either here or there.
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