The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective

Asexuality and closeness among the AKB

ysabetwordsmith had a post about asexuality in fiction, and I made a comment that I feel bears repeating here:
This kind of thing is why I'm glad Lyria, my asexual character, is not aromantic; she and Forizano are falling for one another. I hope I can get it finished, then published widely enough for lots of people to be like "Oh, hey, that's something I'd never considered before."

Then on the other tentacle, we have the Ah'Koi Bahnis, who are - in many ways - like people on the autism spectrum compared to humans. But far from the usual stereotype of autistics as being unable to connect with other people, the AKB are actually BETTER at connecting with one another than humans are. They more readily form bonds, their deep bonds affect them more strongly (to the point where dying not long after a spouse has died is far more common among them), and they can connect this way to a larger group of people than humans can. The number of people they can think of as people, which human scientists refer to as "the monkeysphere" is bigger than ours. Polyamory is more common among the AKB, as well. Furthermore, they're a lot more open about sex, with hardly any hangups about it. They are honest with their children about sex, let their children experiment, and never judge for doing so. There's no slut shaming in their culture. There is also hardly any rape at all, because in that culture you would have to be some kind of sociopath to rape someone. If we had contact with them at our current stage of development, they would probably gasp in horror at us "sociopathic barbarians," slam the proverbial door behind us, and nail it shut.

Yes, a lot of them have difficulty with humans, but that's more because they tend to think of humans as the oddly unemotional, detached ones (at best). For instance, they would find bizarre the tendency of many people to cut themselves off emotionally from their parents just because it was "uncool" to show affection for parents past a certain age. And while AKB do tend to get lost in their passions (like many on the autism spectrum among humans do), they tend to use their passions/obsessions to connect with other people who share those passions.

One thing I have long known about the AKB is that even their introverts have a stronger need for the touch of other people than humans do. People living alone in their apartment or house is practically unheard of on Traipah. The few who do, leave their home frequently to be with friends or relatives.

So I suspect any asexuals among the AKB would retain those tendencies.

Hmm... you know, I seem to recall there being a person in Nokwahl's past who I felt at the time should have been a love interest of hers, but nothing ever happened there. There was chemistry, and the two were certainly something other than friends, but I'm thinking now that nothing sexual ever happened there because the other character was asexual. And I didn't even know about asexuals back then, so I didn't recognize it.
On a related note, which I did not have in the comment, I was glad that Lt. Cmdr. Data wasn't asexual. True, attraction is an emotion and he supposedly didn't have them, but he did have sex with drunk Tasha Yar that one time, and seemed to enjoy it immensely.

This was cross-posted from
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Tags: ah'koi bahnis, asexuality, asperger's, autism, sexuality, smashing stereotypes, traipah, worldbuilding
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