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If ever you think bullying isn't that big a deal, bear in mind what my psychiatrist told me: when I explained to her about my poor memory, that I could barely remember anything from my childhood, and that I still have trouble remembering things, she told me that memory problems like mine are a possible symptom of childhood trauma. Like bullying.

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1167263.html
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Apr. 29th, 2017 03:49 pm (UTC)
Words Leave Deeper Scarring Than Anything Else

Being bullied as a kid because I have cerebral palsy was about as bad of a trauma as I thought could happen. Being bullied by another student was about the lowest that I thought anyone could go, especially since it was someone else with a disability. When I’d gotten pushed down those two times in school, the other student was blind, but I think she was also autistic. I’d learned that from other students, and I didn’t bully the girl whatsoever.
Being bullied in my relationships was worse. My first relationship in school—well, I dated this guy briefly. He said he saw passed by disability, and liked me for who I was. This, I learned, was far from the truth. He dumped me, going back to his other girlfriend. She approached me one day, saying I should leave the two of them alone. She wasn’t at all nice about it, either.
That’s when Ron and I got together the first time. You saw us hanging out a lot during our school time. We hadn’t seen each other after graduation, until 2009, when he found me on facebook. We began communicating, only to reunite in person 2 years later. We got married seven months after that. All seemed fine, until he began getting on my case about not doing things without asking for help—heck, he even avoided being around me altogether.
I had a teacher who was a bully, too. If I didn’t do something right, she tormented me about it. I had to endure her verbal abuse for 3 years . I also had to endure her physical abuse interms of her forcing me to do physical tasks that were difficult on me because of the cerebral palsy—like vacuuming, mopping the floor on my hands and knees, not getting help with laundry—and doing things like washing dishes or cooking standing up without a break.
I’m with Sean “Mixingk” now, and he’s always looking out for me. If someone even attempts to bully me, he’s right there to step in. he doesn’t want me to be hurt again. Because of my past, he’s attempting to change all that for the better. I love him and greatly appreciate him for absolutely everything that he does for me. I don’t know what I’d do without him.
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