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Watching the HP movies is painful.

To pass the time, I started watching the HP6 movie. (HP and the Half Blood Prince.) Good fucking gods, that whole series of movies needed a book-slapper. (Book slapper: a job proposed by Cracked.com. A book slapper is someone whose job it is to read the book and slap the director with it whenever the director says "What if...") That pointless, stupid scene with the waitress, for instance; what the fuck was up with that? Okay, so Harry digs black chicks, fine. But that wasn't in the book and it makes no sense at all in the movie.

And oh ye gods, the race-bending of Lavender Brown. If I had been the book-slapper for that, I would have tied the book to a cricket bat and WHAM! straight to the kisser!

The director of HP6 would have been in the hospital before the movie was even half finished, if I had been the book-slapper.

Which isn't to say I'd hit them every time they said "what if," no. Some changes make sense and are improvements. Like when Dumbledore asks Harry if he wonders why they're there and Harry says "Honestly, sir, at this point I just kinda go with it." I could see myself lifting the book, ready to slap the director for that "what if," and then narrowing my eyes and lowering the book, saying, "You may proceed."

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1162042.html
You can comment either here or there.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
lucretiasheart
Aug. 18th, 2013 05:26 am (UTC)
AGREED on all counts!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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