"Ode To George"
By = Opus Van De Oplicter
I was dancing on the moon
One moonlit Hallow's Eve
When I came across a slug
Whose name, it seems, was Steve.
I followed him in his car
(A Mustang painted red)
And stopped five inches from a bar
Called "Merry Cherry Red."
We went in and had a ball,
And waltzed the night away!
The punch was good, we drank it all,
Then Steve said he was gay.
Another slug, tattooed and pierced,
Came in walking on his feet;
Though big and tall and looking fierce,
Steve's boyfriend I did meet.
"We cannot let the pretzels win,
With their salty evil hands!
I am George of Saltless Gorge,
I taught Steve to stand!"
So screaming out our battle song,
We charged the empty field;
Our swords fought the salt so strong,
While the banana hats got peeled.
Poor George so brave, he took a blow,
The dear man was a-salted;
And despite the need to go,
Verily we halted.
"Do not worry, my dear friends,
I will see you once again;
Just promise me on bended knee,
Don't let the pretzels win!"
So died George of Saltless Gorge,
Upon that salty plain;
And we vowed, ahead to forge
'til the pretzels all were slain.
Our battle with the salt goes on,
But our hearts are stout;
I just hope, when comes the dawn,
They don't join with Sauer Kraut.