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An Opus Van De Oplicter poem

"A Bible Story"
Opus Van De Oplicter makes sense of the Bible

Jesus jousting Jezebel,
Jabberwocky jowls!
Hundred houndish hierophants
Have horrendous happy howls!

Sacreligious sphincters
Spew salami so-so sour,
While wily whistling weirdos
Weave wombat-waking power!

Betty Boop beaned Barney Boy,
Bought bochelism brine!
Deeply diving derelicts
Deem da dinner danish dime.

Xenophillac xylophones zoom
Zebras zesty, Zane!
Peter punted pagans pure,
Perilous pen pain.

Hectic horny historians
Hump hot ho's, hand heave!
Jehovah jacks off Jesus;
Just gentlemen, d'ja leave?

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
gkathellar
Oct. 10th, 2006 07:13 pm (UTC)
I have no idea what can ever concievably said in reply to that.
fayanora
Oct. 13th, 2006 05:57 pm (UTC)
(ROTFLMAO!)
consortofvenus
Oct. 17th, 2006 11:52 am (UTC)
The really racous raptors
Did what only singing sailors do
Only then did the spatulas cry
Out! Out! Because that's what those
Out the heezee meeleezee kelly children do
fayanora
Oct. 18th, 2006 04:43 pm (UTC)
consortofvenus
Oct. 18th, 2006 05:22 pm (UTC)
I don't know who that is but she has a nice ass.
fayanora
Oct. 19th, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC)
It's some dude's nude interpretation of Alice, from Alice in Wonderland. Which is just wrong, because Alice in the novels is a child.
consortofvenus
Oct. 19th, 2006 05:26 pm (UTC)
Talk about innacurate. Even that minimal trunk junk I couldn't see on a young girl. And then that boobage and beautiful curved body...

That artist is just a horny bugger.
fayanora
Oct. 19th, 2006 05:38 pm (UTC)
Indeed.
fayanora
Oct. 19th, 2006 05:39 pm (UTC)
"Trunk junk"! That's hilarious!
consortofvenus
Oct. 19th, 2006 06:24 pm (UTC)
It's my thang ;) I'm an ass man.
fayanora
Oct. 20th, 2006 06:22 pm (UTC)
I like asses, legs, arms, shoulders, feet, hands, faces, pussies, dicks... ;-)
consortofvenus
Oct. 20th, 2006 06:34 pm (UTC)
I don't like shoulder blades.
fayanora
Oct. 20th, 2006 07:00 pm (UTC)
I do.

Why don't you like them?
consortofvenus
Oct. 20th, 2006 07:23 pm (UTC)
I just find them annoying. They suddenly jut out from the back and I'm like... nah.
fayanora
Oct. 21st, 2006 03:44 pm (UTC)
*Shrugs*

Hey, you know what I figured out last night? I figured out that I might have misinterpreted your intial comment about the picture. ("Even that minimal trunk junk I couldn't see on a young girl.")

I thought you were expressing distaste for her boobs (in the sense of "that junk (ie shit) sprouting from her trunk (ie chest, like the trunk of a tree... because the part that the legs and arms are connected to is known as a trunk)") but you were actually talking about your liking of her butt, right? (IE "she's got some junk in her trunk")

LOL! It's these small things that show how different my thought processes are from those of the people around me. :-) That the first thing I think of when someone says "trunk" in the context of a human body is the scientific/anatomical definition, rather than the slang definition. *Chuckles*
consortofvenus
Oct. 21st, 2006 04:21 pm (UTC)
The tits are teh hood, G! Cars! Fosheezy.

;) Hey, that's why you're awesome.
fayanora
Oct. 21st, 2006 05:05 pm (UTC)
*Blushes* I know I'm awesome, but I like hearing people tell me anyway. ;)

Tits... eh. I could take em or leave em. I'm not particularly interested in breasts. Though I WOULD like a pair for myself someday. Being transgendered as I am.

*Sigh* Yeah, my thought processes are very different from average. But then, being lost in my own fantasy world from age 5 to age 13 or 14 is probably the reason. To this day I *still* have one foot in and one foot out of reality.

Oh, and the my being awesome thing reminds me: I have a new update that is teh ilhairyass! (the hilarious)
consortofvenus
Oct. 21st, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I so get what isolation does to you. I think it's an advantage and a curse. I never lost grip on reality but I was more like an empty vessle waiting to be filled for quite many years more than most people and I was lucky enough to fill myself, rather than being filled for the most part as many people are. And then there was my apathy and depression that allowed me to be less emotional and thus seeing logic (and science, as an important extension) as the best answer.


lol ilhairyass.
fayanora
Oct. 24th, 2006 06:40 pm (UTC)
That reminded me, for some reason, of this quote from Dogma:

Bethany: You're suggesting I need to get filled?
Liz: In more ways than one. You need to get laid, Bethany Sloane. You need a man, if only for ten minutes.
Bethany: It's been my experience that the average male is never a man. Not even for ten minutes in his entire lifespan.
Liz: That'a a bit militant. You thinking of joining the other side?
Bethany: Couldn't do it. Women are insane.
Liz: Then YOU need to go back to church and ask God for a third option.
Bethany: I think God is dead.
Liz: The sign of a true Catholic.
consortofvenus
Oct. 24th, 2006 07:57 pm (UTC)
LOL

Oh, Dogma.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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