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I have a hard time sleeping most Saturday nights anyway, because of going to bed early in order to get up early enough to go to the Unitarian church Sunday morning, but last night was more vexing than usual. Oh, it started out okay, getting to bed basically on time and getting to sleep fairly okay the first time around. And then halfway through the night I woke up to go to the bathroom and couldn't get back to sleep. Must have taken me an hour or two to finally start nodding off again, because I couldn't get my mind to stop going, and every tiny noise in this apartment (with walls and ceilings like tissue paper, sound-wise) would jolt me out of whatever progress I'd made toward sleep. At least part of this was probably due to my late rising at 4 PM the day before.

Anyway, just as I'm nodding off again, I start dreaming that I'm doing something with a boom box (I forget what) and then when I finished whatever that was, my dream self went to her room and I laid myself down on a waterbed and was beginning to drift to sleep in the dream world when my mom shouted my name in a "come here, I'm angry at you" way that woke me up for real. It was only when I was awake again that I was able to realize that the shout had been in my dream, not in real life (unless Mom has somehow mastered the ability to scream loud enough for me to hear her all the way from Iowa) and I was like "God dammit!" Continued having problems getting to sleep and staying asleep, for one reason or another, the rest of the night. But I was getting more sleep than not, for a few hours.

Then I got up to use the bathroom again, and had diarrhea. Took some pills for it and tried going back to bed. But it was no use. I lay there for about half an hour before I said "Fuck it" and got up because I just wasn't tired enough to sleep anymore. It was 8 AM.

Sheesh... this night of crappy sleep after the night before which was full of weirdness and half-nightmares and hallucinated sounds. I think I'm gonna have to start praying to Morshiinin, Goddess of Dreams, for good dreams. Might see about getting or making a dream catcher, too. My sleep this whole winter long has been mostly crazy-making. I know I don't like going outside much, but I miss the sunlight struggling to get through my curtains. And I do go outside more often when it's warm than when it's cold.

Well, now I have to get ready to go.

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1051059.html
You can comment either here or there.



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