The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (fayanora) wrote,
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective

Saint Irwin would be PISSED

Saint Steve Irwin (may Eris be letting him pet Cerberus) would be absolutely in a rage at this: (work safe)

Steve Irwin sent me a message from beyond the grave, complete with gestures and facial expressions that, unfortunetely, I couldn't take down. Use your imagination:

"'Elo everyone. Steve Irwin 'ere, an' this is my afterlyfe special on those ballerinas of the sea, sting rays. Now I know lots a blokes an shielas been really upset lately over one o' them beautes stingin me in the chest, causin my death. I just want everyone ta know, don't take it out on them beautiful creatures. Wild animals, they don't know nothin but how ta be how they are, an that's served them beautifully for thousands o' years.

"Sting rays are normally very docile and gentle creatures, but just like with every wild animal, you corner them and they'll attack! Ya can't corner a wild animal, cuz they'll get really scared and act out in self defense. Now I just want everyone ta know, the sting ray killin me was entirely my fault. I wasn't payin close enough attention to what was goin on, cuz I was too much in awe of the beaute we was filmin. We'd accidentally surrounded 'im, the cameramen and I, and I was gettin right up close to 'im. I'm sure 'e thought we was meanin him some haam. So 'a' course 'e felt threatened an' stung me. The lit'tl fella didn't *try* ta kill me, 'e was just tryin' to say, 'Hey, back off, you're scarin me!'

"So don't hurt these beautes of the ocean on my sake, folks. Watch the reruns of my shows, heed my advice VERY carefully, and remember that my death was an accident that could have been prevented. When you work so closely with wild animals, even a professional like myself can make mistakes. That's why it's very important that you give wild animals a wide berth.

"G'day, everyone, and remember: Crikey! (huge grin)"
Tags: discordian stuff, discordianism, news
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