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Saint Irwin would be PISSED

Saint Steve Irwin (may Eris be letting him pet Cerberus) would be absolutely in a rage at this:

http://www.fox28.com/News/index.php?ID=4194 (work safe)

Steve Irwin sent me a message from beyond the grave, complete with gestures and facial expressions that, unfortunetely, I couldn't take down. Use your imagination:

"'Elo everyone. Steve Irwin 'ere, an' this is my afterlyfe special on those ballerinas of the sea, sting rays. Now I know lots a blokes an shielas been really upset lately over one o' them beautes stingin me in the chest, causin my death. I just want everyone ta know, don't take it out on them beautiful creatures. Wild animals, they don't know nothin but how ta be how they are, an that's served them beautifully for thousands o' years.

"Sting rays are normally very docile and gentle creatures, but just like with every wild animal, you corner them and they'll attack! Ya can't corner a wild animal, cuz they'll get really scared and act out in self defense. Now I just want everyone ta know, the sting ray killin me was entirely my fault. I wasn't payin close enough attention to what was goin on, cuz I was too much in awe of the beaute we was filmin. We'd accidentally surrounded 'im, the cameramen and I, and I was gettin right up close to 'im. I'm sure 'e thought we was meanin him some haam. So 'a' course 'e felt threatened an' stung me. The lit'tl fella didn't *try* ta kill me, 'e was just tryin' to say, 'Hey, back off, you're scarin me!'

"So don't hurt these beautes of the ocean on my sake, folks. Watch the reruns of my shows, heed my advice VERY carefully, and remember that my death was an accident that could have been prevented. When you work so closely with wild animals, even a professional like myself can make mistakes. That's why it's very important that you give wild animals a wide berth.

"G'day, everyone, and remember: Crikey! (huge grin)"

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
beginnings_end
Sep. 25th, 2006 07:17 pm (UTC)
It's horrible. I heard it on the news. It's no way to remember him after all he did to protect wildlife.

Infuriating.
fayanora
Sep. 26th, 2006 05:42 pm (UTC)
Really. I can see him now, in that thick accent of his, saying:

"'Elo everyone. Steve Irwin 'ere, an' this is my afterlyfe special on those ballerinas of the sea, sting rays. Now I know lots a blokes an shielas been really upset lately over one o' them beautes stingin me in the chest, causin my death. I just want everyone ta know, don't take it out on them beautiful creatures. Wild animals, they don't know nothin but how ta be how they are, an that's served them beautifully for thousands o' years.

"Sting rays are normally very docile and gentle creatures, but just like with every wild animal, you corner them and they'll attack! Ya can't corner a wild animal, cuz they'll get really scared and act out in self defense. Now I just want everyone ta know, the sting ray killin me was entirely my fault. I wasn't payin close enough attention to what was goin on, cuz I was too much in awe of the beaute we was filmin. We'd accidentally surrounded 'im, the cameramen and I, and I was gettin right up close to 'im. I'm sure 'e thought we was meanin him some haam. So 'a' course 'e felt threatened an' stung me. The lit'tl fella didn't *try* ta kill me, 'e was just tryin' to say, 'Hey, back off, you're scarin me!'

"So don't hurt these beautes of the ocean on my sake, folks. Watch the reruns of my shows, heed my advice VERY carefully, and remember that my death was an accident that could have been prevented. When you work so closely with wild animals, even a professional like myself can make mistakes. That's why it's very important that you give wild animals a wide berth.

"G'day, everyone, and remember: Crikey! (huge grin)"
beginnings_end
Sep. 26th, 2006 08:39 pm (UTC)
I can just see him saying that...:D
fayanora
Sep. 27th, 2006 03:38 pm (UTC)
Me too. :-)
scwizard
Sep. 25th, 2006 08:03 pm (UTC)
The extent of some people's idiocy is very hard to comprehend.
fayanora
Sep. 26th, 2006 05:52 pm (UTC)
Indeed.
wizwom
Sep. 25th, 2006 08:59 pm (UTC)
Dirty rotten bottom feeders!
The people, not the fish!
fayanora
Sep. 26th, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC)
That's giving them too high a rung on the evolutionary ladder.
drjon
Sep. 25th, 2006 10:38 pm (UTC)
It's sad and pathetic.

What's worse is that I can guess what's happening up there (being a local and all). It's not "revenge" at all.

There's a big culture of what you'd call "boot sales" along the Queensland coast.

I'm betting mounted "trophies" of The Stinger That Got Steve are going for at least $100 by the roadside...

(Although I respect very much some of the work Steve did for conservation, there's no way on earth I'd consider him a Discordian Saint. Queensland's a small place in some ways, and I know more than enough about him to consider it... ill-considered.)
fayanora
Sep. 26th, 2006 06:09 pm (UTC)
*Give boot sales folks da boot*

Didn't the Principia say one did not have to be Discordian to be a Discordian Saint?
drjon
Sep. 26th, 2006 10:10 pm (UTC)
It did indeed.

My reasons for not considering him a Discordian Saint are not hinged on his religious beliefs, but on the nature of his character.

I mean no offense.
fayanora
Sep. 27th, 2006 04:24 pm (UTC)
None taken. :-)
drjon
Sep. 27th, 2006 10:16 pm (UTC)
Although I didn't mean offense to you either, primarily I wished to make it clear I meant no offense to Steve Irwin or his family.
fayanora
Sep. 28th, 2006 04:02 am (UTC)
Ah. I was wondering why you'd say that. But it was the only thing I could think of a response to.
consortofvenus
Sep. 26th, 2006 03:36 am (UTC)
Irwin certainly wouldn't approve. That's why I keep my stingray killing to mere fantasy. That and I feel bad about even killing spiders. But you know.

It does amuse me though. When I suggested to my friends we take revenge rays... I thought it happening in reality was a long shot...
fayanora
Sep. 26th, 2006 06:12 pm (UTC)
(Pictures an image from "Everyone Loves Raymond, with a sting ray grafted to Ray's head. The image is called "Everybody Loves Rays")
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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