On the upside, the hum can be hidden by music. So I play music. Unfortunately, I tended to play music anyway before the hum; this is unfortunate because I have a habit of listening to an artist's albums over and over and over again until I get bored or tired of that artist, and move on. It takes a few months to go back to some artists under this system, and if I go back too soon I go batshit. So though I have an extensive music collection, I'm limited in what I can play. And lately I've been playing things that I wasn't ready to go back to yet, all because playing them makes me less crazy than the damned hum does.
Luckily, I was reminded earlier today of something that may save my sanity: certain sounds are like a stimmy to me. I had to stop using this noise-making tube toy I got at OMSI months ago because I'd constantly be making noise with it, to the point where it felt like trying to go cold turkey on an addiction when I put it aside. When Lilla and I lived together, I used to spend hours thrumming the bars on the daybed thing that was my bed, because the sound they made was addictive. And I was reminded today, I feel the same way about bagpipes, harpsichords, and the pipe organ, along with a few other instruments I can't recall offhand. So armed with this knowledge, I can compile a playlist of songs that are addictive to the point where I can play them over and over and over again and never get tired of them. Hell, it may come to a point where I have to put that playlist in my liePod to keep from going insane from cold-turkeying it when going out of the house.
Oh, that hum? It isn't even steady. It has a kind of pattern to it. It varies in pitch and volume in a pattern. I just don't know why it happens. But it's like an anti-stimmy. I can tolerate it for a few minutes, and then it's like "MUST STOP THE HUM OR GO FRAKKING BATSHIT INSANE!!!"
Heh, this is the kind of thing I think I should cross-post to asperger. I think I will.
Crossposted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org