?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Sometimes I think about things that happened days or even weeks ago. Last night I was thinking about something [personal profile] kengr asked once, maybe a week or two back. I don't remember the exact wording, but she basically asked how I manage to function with queunliskanphobia, IE fear (or rather extreme disgust/revulsion, in our case) of saliva. My answer at the time was something that amounted to "compartmentalization." I think specifically it was "I try to imagine it just doesn't exist," or near enough. But I was thinking again about this last night because I'd had my finger in my mouth and looked at the spit on my finger and didn't have a problem with it before wiping it off.

This isn't the only time something that usually bothers us hasn't bothered us. Like, the thought of blood can quickly make me feel weak and shaky and have to lie down for a while. But when I get a cut, the blood doesn't usually bother me. It's like, a cut happens and the practical part of our brain is like "Well this has to be dealt with." But there's more to it than that, even, because Pi ([personal profile] svaenohr) is aroused by blood, thinks about consuming it sometimes when zee1, er... you know... *waves hand dismissively.* (Zee was going to call it by the phillia name for it, but then we realized the word hemophilia is used for a disease, a somewhat misnamed disease at that. Pretty sure hemophiliacs don't like blood, unless it's staying put in their body. I would think hemophobia would be a better word for it. But that's a different disease.) When zee does this, the rest of us have to shut down and wait for zeer signal to return. We have to do this with quite a number of Pi's fetishes, to be honest.

Anyway, so several things came together in my mind last night, including what I'd mentioned above, and basically... the different people in our collective have different likes, dislikes, phobias, philias, etc. Which is something we never really realized the full implications of. But yeah, this means queunliskanphobia is Alex's problem; dunno who else in here has it, but at least one of us does not have that problem. Or, at least, not to the same degree. Just thinking about... the thing... can set off Alex's phobia. And it's impossible to predict when his influence is going to wane enough from the system to make it alright. So yeah, we try not to think about it.

So pretty much all of us have a revulsion response to blood, not sure what to call it now that they've stolen the only term I could think of for another disease (and I was astonished at all the various blood diseases that put philia on the end of the word, in the short time I dared try to find a word to replace hemophobia. Did the people naming those not know what the word "philia" means? And honestly, I wouldn't call what Pi has hemomania, either. It's not a mania, it's just a kink of zeers, one of many. A kink that the rest of us would rather forget about... along with most of zeer other kinks. If you're curious, you can pop over to zeer LJ/DW and look it up. Thankfully it is all in zeer mind only. Most of zeer kinks are pretty much impossible anyway, and zee knows better than to try the others. Pretty sure if zee tried the blood thing, even with someone known to be disease free, the rest of us would freak out and vomit and probably curl into a ball in the corner and cry.

But yeah, there's others. Alex and some of the others have cynophobia as well, a distrust of and fear of dogs. (Not sure who else, aside from Alex and Pi.) But Molly's reaction to dogs is "Puppy!"

That's all we can think of for now. But there may be others. It's hot right now, and we were tired anyway, so thinking is not a strong suit at the moment.


1 = "Zee" is our spelling of the genderless "ze" or "xe," to make the pronunciation more obvious. We also change "zer" and "xer" to "zeer." These are Pi's preferred pronouns, as zee identifies as agender (without gender).

This was cross-posted from http://fayanora.dreamwidth.org/1315730.html
You can comment either here or there.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lucretiasheart
Aug. 26th, 2016 05:43 pm (UTC)
Wow. So complicated-- and yet makes sense.

Its interesting too, in that as I explore my own inner selves (from Internal Family Systems or IFS Therapy) I'm finding that real multiples have oodles of insight on many inner conflicts as you describe!

Thanks for sharing. As always, lurking and reading if not commenting! You continue to be one of the most prolifically creative people I've ever known. Many soft spirit hugs to you.
fayanora
Aug. 27th, 2016 05:30 am (UTC)
Thanks! *HUGS*
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

Djyahlah icon
fayanora
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective
Fayanora's Web Site

Latest Month

July 2017
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Taichi Kaminogoya